Following The Great Christmas Underwear Star Of Greedy Corporate Crooks

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On a snowy Christmas Eve night, President-Elect Barack Obama put on his Santa Claus suit, met with a few of his Mexican friends, gathered up a few tacos from the trash cans of local Mexican restaurants and set out into the dark, chilly night, following the Great Christmas Underwear Star Of Greedy Corporate Crooks in an effort to find the former Fat Cat chief executives of down-trodden banks who had recently asked the government for bail-out money. It is this "Great Christmas Underwear Star" that symbolizes the nakedness and humiliation that these executives must feel as they beg the taxpayers for money to pay for their own avarice and incompetence. It had been rumored that these money-grubbing weasels had fallen off a cliff and found themselves slowly sinking deeper and deeper into a green guacamole pit of their own greed. When Santa Obama arrived the Fat Cats had become so emaciated, so starved for something to fit inside their shriveled bellies that when Obama offered them tacos if they promised to never again have the band "Earth, Wind and Fire" play at any more of their parties and instead opt for the savory, spicy melodies of whatever Mexican salsa band was hottest at the time, they meowed in resounding agreement. It is then when the Great Christmas Underwear Star above gleamed most brightly as it was discovered that Santa Obama, in his beatific benevolence and charming, persuasive eloquence, could turn even a financial disaster into a cause for the appreciation of other cultures.

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