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Saturday, April 4, 2009

Rod Blagojevich Wears "Tightie-Whities" Outside Of His Jogging Pants To Express His Innocence

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rod blagojevich in underwearBack in December after the then governor of Illinois, Rod Blagojevich, was arrested on various charges of corruption, he was known to give interviews to the press before, after and during his daily exercise of jogging. He said that jogging cleared his mind and helped him come up with different ways of trying to endear himself to the public through the media. It was important for Blagojevich to do interviews and appear on various talk shows in order to try and clear his name and perhaps influence any potential jurors who might preside over his criminal case when it goes to trial. One of the brilliant ideas that Governor Blagojevich came up with was to wear a pair of underwear outside of his jogging pants in order to further emphasize his proclaimed innocence, to show that his conscience, as well as his soul, was as pure and as white as the brilliantly clean "tightie-whities" he wore outside of his clothing, in full public view, while jogging out in the infamously windy Chicago cold. When asked if the governor also wore underwear underneath his jogging pants, he simply replied, "I refuse to answer that question until I appear on the Tonight Show." Governor Blagojevich has the honor and disctinction of, out of the numerous private and public citizens I portray in their underwear in my "Obama Taco Underwear" Painting Series, being the only one so far who wears his underwear OUTSIDE OF HIS CLOTHES

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Gay Werewolf Underwear Models Are Emboldened By Obama's Message

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gay werewolf underwear model for obamaThere are alot of gay werewolves around, that's for sure, and I respect and love every one of them. Here you see a gay werewolf underwear model sneaking himself into a larger photo taken from the night when President-Elect Obama turned into a werewolf during a Chicago Bulls basketball game. There are many people becoming their own kind of werewolf as Obamamania and its movement progresses. Some people have described how the long-buried hopes and American idealism that is being out of people by Obama and making them wolf-like in their renewed enthusiasm as being similar to how a gay man or woman feels when they finally "come out of the closet" and reveal their true selves. People are no longer embarrassed to howl and let their hair grow out as they say that they love America. They are no longer ashamed to wave the American flag and are so happy that they have a President they can finally look up to and not be embarrassed by. This idea of renewed pride is well-expressed in the image of a gay werewolf underwear model who just "lets it all hang out" and is not afraid to jump into the picture just as many are now jumping in to the American political scene and participating in our great country's political process.

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Sunday, March 29, 2009

Following The Great Christmas Underwear Star Of Greedy Corporate Crooks

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underwear starOn a snowy Christmas Eve night, President-Elect Barack Obama put on his Santa Claus suit, met with a few of his Mexican friends, gathered up a few tacos from the trash cans of local Mexican restaurants and set out into the dark, chilly night, following the Great Christmas Underwear Star Of Greedy Corporate Crooks in an effort to find the former Fat Cat chief executives of down-trodden banks who had recently asked the government for bail-out money. It is this "Great Christmas Underwear Star" that symbolizes the nakedness and humiliation that these executives must feel as they beg the taxpayers for money to pay for their own avarice and incompetence. It had been rumored that these money-grubbing weasels had fallen off a cliff and found themselves slowly sinking deeper and deeper into a green guacamole pit of their own greed. When Santa Obama arrived the Fat Cats had become so emaciated, so starved for something to fit inside their shriveled bellies that when Obama offered them tacos if they promised to never again have the band "Earth, Wind and Fire" play at any more of their parties and instead opt for the savory, spicy melodies of whatever Mexican salsa band was hottest at the time, they meowed in resounding agreement. It is then when the Great Christmas Underwear Star above gleamed most brightly as it was discovered that Santa Obama, in his beatific benevolence and charming, persuasive eloquence, could turn even a financial disaster into a cause for the appreciation of other cultures.

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Monday, March 23, 2009

Tacos And Burritos Must Remain The Same Amidst Such A Dramatic Change In Underwear

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obama zombie of hopeAhhhh, there's nothing like a little HOPE to make a tired, weary and sad zombie spring up from his grave and want to strut his stuff! This phenomenon is occuring all over America as the Obama movement has injected new life into so many progressive and liberal-minded people. After 8 long years of feeling claustrophobic in their dark, wet graves, these freedom-loving zombies have arisen and they have received a fresh pair of underwear from their vampiric puppet overlord, Zbigniew Brezinski. There are some that say former national security advisor to Jimmy Carter, Zbigniew Brzezinski, is now in control of Obama and that he turned Barack into a vampire while he was attending Columis University in the late 80's. They say that Zbig is planning a scheme of world domination to further the goals of his Trilateral Commission. I say, who really cares? If having Obama as President makes this many feel good, if it makes zombies rise from the dead and puts a spring in all our steps after wearing stale Republican-stained underwear for so long, what does it matter if Obama is a puppet of the Trialteral Commission because this fresh pair of underwear change feels so good! It almost makes me want to become an underwear model. Wait, I already am one! Hahahahaa.

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Obama Hope Inspires Many Zombie Liberals To Become Underwear Models

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obama zombie of hopeAhhhh, there's nothing like a little HOPE to make a tired, weary and sad zombie spring up from his grave and want to strut his stuff! This phenomenon is occuring all over America as the Obama movement has injected new life into so many progressive and liberal-minded people. After 8 long years of feeling claustrophobic in their dark, wet graves, these freedom-loving zombies have arisen and they have received a fresh pair of underwear from their vampiric puppet overlord, Zbigniew Brezinski. There are some that say former national security advisor to Jimmy Carter, Zbigniew Brzezinski, is now in control of Obama and that he turned Barack into a vampire while he was attending Columis University in the late 80's. They say that Zbig is planning a scheme of world domination to further the goals of his Trilateral Commission. I say, who really cares? If having Obama as President makes this many feel good, if it makes zombies rise from the dead and puts a spring in all our steps after wearing stale Republican-stained underwear for so long, what does it matter if Obama is a puppet of the Trialteral Commission because this fresh pair of underwear change feels so good! It almost makes me want to become an underwear model. Wait, I already am one! Hahahahaa.

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Sunday, March 22, 2009

Immigration And The False Hope Of Ever Seeing The Statue Of Liberty's Underwear

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statue of liberty in underwearI know that there are many naughty immigrant men out there who, when they see a pretty American girl wearing a dress or skirt, they want to lift it up to see what American mysteries and secrets lie underneath. Of course, good manners and an individual's right to privacy prohibit immigrants from doing this without the American lady's permission. This is why the Statue of Liberty's gown is made of stone to symbolize this fact, to demonstrate that once an immigrant man tries to lift up her gown to see her underwear he, of course, won't get very far. I think this makes a good metaphor for immigrants coming into the country. It is a message which says if you do not learn to speak English and follow our nation's laws you will not get very far in this country, you will not get to see America's fruits, the sparkling panties of our Statue of Liberty. Of course, literally, no one ever gets to see the Lady Liberty's underwear. It is a "false hope" just like how rich Republicans trick lower-income conservatives into becoming enraged over a modest tax hike upon those making over $250,000 a year, an income level they will never attain, anyway, but we all must have our American dream of being rich, just as we all must dare to desire a peek at the Lady Liberty's sensuous underpants, even though we know deep inside that it is impossible for us to do so.

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Wednesday, March 4, 2009

International Underwear Symbol For Transparency In Government

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politicians show their underwearHere I created the new International Underwear Symbol For Transparency In Government. You see a Latin American Supreme Court Justice lifting up his robe and showing the world community his underwear. Of course, he has a smile on his face because he is more than happy to do so. In the new age of "Obama Taco Underwear," politicians, judges, legislators and all public figures will be more than happy to lift up their figurative robes and show the tax-payers their underwear to show us where all the money went. If a public figure lifts up their robe for you and you discover they have no underwear ON, well, you know that they spent all of your money on EAR MARKS and can't even afford a pair of drawers to wear as they do the people's work in public. How shameful it must be to be the person sitting in congress without any underwear on to show the people. Should this person be re-elected? I think not! The American people and all Mexican people who are soon to become Americans should demand that the officials in both our countries SHOW US YOUR UNDERWEAR before you are getting another vote from us!

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Monday, March 2, 2009

Sarah Palin In Pink Underwear With Armed Baby In Taco Shell

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sarah palin in pink underwearI don't think anyone can deny that a big appeal of Sarah Palin is her cute, down-home country looks and those stylish glasses she wears. I admittedly have often wondered what she looks like in her underwear so I made this little picture of her. Here she is shown pregnant again, in a pink bra and pink bottoms. She holds one of her family's latest children in her hands and has placed him in a warm, delicious taco to keep him cozy and comfortable during those long Alaskan winters. As you can see, the taco has the youth fired up beyond belief as he holds a gun in his hand and is more than ready to do battle with all those commies and socialists and media meanies who would dare try to smear his mother or take away the money or liberties of REAL Americans.

This picture also continues to develop my evolving vision of "underwear politics" where (wear?) I have Republicans wearing pink underwear. This has a connection to the Republican elephant logo and the notion of "seeing pink elephants" as a metaphor for people's delusions, but it also, especially in regard to the Republican males, serves as a playful, ironic swipe at their macho, cowboy self-images.

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Thursday, February 26, 2009

Bill Clinton In White Cotton Briefs Gives Speech In Favor Of Lettuce

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bill clinton speaks against salmonellaHere is pictured former president Bill Clinton in a clean, fresh pair of white cotton briefs which were given to him by Barack Obama after he clinched the Democratic nomination. It is well-known that Bill was bitter about Hillary's defeat and Obama had to give him this gift of "a change in underwear we can believe in" in order to get him to campaign for him during the General Election. This was also during a time when tomatoes were thought to be tainted with salmonella in the summer of '08, and when our political leaders in Washington were encouraging Americans to just put more LETTUCE on their tacos to make up for lack of tomatoes and to keep up the nation's morale during this terrible time. Bill Clinton is seen here making a speech in favor of lettuce as he says to his listeners, "Lettuce not be upset at the lack of tomatoes in our tacos. Lettuce instead come together and rally around this head of lettuce I have before me which represents our hopes and our dreams as we feed it to our families in place of that which is now diseased."

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Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Bill Clinton In His Boxers As He Saves The Tomatoes

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bill clinton and 9/11I distinctly remember watching the news during the 9/11 crisis when Bill Clinton was shown walking the streets of New York City while many people walked up to him asking for help. It was honestly a very moving scene. I became misty-eyed as, for just a moment during that horrible time I felt transported to the 90's when everything was so upbeat and positive and when Bill Clinton, while often seen wearing nothing but his boxers, was adored by many Americans.

So it was during the salmonella crisis of the summer of '08 that I got the idea for this image of Bill Clinton in his boxers, triumphantly holding up a tomato as if to say, "It is okay, the tomatoes will get better. You will soon be able to put tomatoes in your tacos again without having to worry about ingesting Mexican workers' fecal matter." There is a subtle message being put forth in this picture in the form of the Venezuelan flag, perhaps hinting that maybe we should start getting our tomatoes there instead?

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