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Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Deep In The Stimulus Bill There Is Money For Alternative Gay Energy Studies?

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gay alternative love energyThere is alot of talk about energy these days, especially about trying to figure out alternative solutions to oil. One type of energy most do not talk about but I think was an integral component of Obama's election campaign message was that of love. It is important to remember that humans cannot figure out any types of alternative energy solutions without forming some sort of bond with their fellow man. There is the more generalized form of love which involves love for your fellow man that is expressed more in doing good deeds for them or helping them out in need. There is the more intense, intimate love that involves a man and a woman and includes kissing and love-making. Then we have what I think is the most intense love and perhaps one which creates the most potent form of energy, and that is intimate love between two men. This type of "gay love" has been used as a cultural wedge in our country and has been the cause of much divisiveness. It should be pointed out, though, that a "love act" between two men that involves so much friction and rubbing of hairs and petroleum lubricant should be studied. It is my hope that somewhere deep in the Stimulus Bill that was recently passed in congress there is some grant money to study this very thing, how energy can be funneled into a useful medium from the erotic acts of two males making good use of their alternative love energy.

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Monday, March 23, 2009

Tacos And Burritos Must Remain The Same Amidst Such A Dramatic Change In Underwear

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obama zombie of hopeAhhhh, there's nothing like a little HOPE to make a tired, weary and sad zombie spring up from his grave and want to strut his stuff! This phenomenon is occuring all over America as the Obama movement has injected new life into so many progressive and liberal-minded people. After 8 long years of feeling claustrophobic in their dark, wet graves, these freedom-loving zombies have arisen and they have received a fresh pair of underwear from their vampiric puppet overlord, Zbigniew Brezinski. There are some that say former national security advisor to Jimmy Carter, Zbigniew Brzezinski, is now in control of Obama and that he turned Barack into a vampire while he was attending Columis University in the late 80's. They say that Zbig is planning a scheme of world domination to further the goals of his Trilateral Commission. I say, who really cares? If having Obama as President makes this many feel good, if it makes zombies rise from the dead and puts a spring in all our steps after wearing stale Republican-stained underwear for so long, what does it matter if Obama is a puppet of the Trialteral Commission because this fresh pair of underwear change feels so good! It almost makes me want to become an underwear model. Wait, I already am one! Hahahahaa.

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Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Even Tacos And Underwear Cannot Help Osama bin Laden

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obama smokes cigarette during 9/11Here we see Osama bin laden with a pair of American underwear on his head. This is to express how he is not taken seriously as a terrorist by some and how some conspiracists and 911 Truth Movement people say about Osama actually being a CIA operative, that he is used as a boogeyman to strike fear into the hearts of Americans and justify ongoing wars in Iraq and Afghanistan so the government can slowly chip away at the civil liberties of free Americans in ther name of national security. I choose to remain aloof and not take a side in this argument and my goal is simply to document some ideas that are out there. That is why I put a taco in Osama's hand as if to say, "Chill out, Osama, quit killing Americans and eat a taco." Whether Osama is alive or dead; whether he is working for the CIA, the Illuminati, the Shadow Government, the U.S. government or if he really is the leader of Al Qaeda and everything the mainstream media says is true, one thing I know for certain is that if he walked around with a pair of underwear on his head eating tacos all the time he might have alot more friends, not be so angry and maybe not have to live in a cave. That is until someone reported him to the authorities, of course, and he was put in prison and probably later executed for killing nearly 3,000 Americans. Unfortunately for some people it's a case where even tacos and underwear can only do them so much good.

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Monday, March 16, 2009

The Obamamanic Relationship Between Hot Sauce And Underwear

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obama hot sauce and underwearThere are alot of interesting images that pop into one's brain when they think to combine hot sauce with underwear. Many of these images can stray into a territory I don't want to venture into in this blog but suffice it to say that "hotness" and "semi-nakedness" are two things in this world that can get people very worked up. There is alot of work to be done on the artistic front dealing with hot sauce and underwear. It is packed with potent symbolic meaning and soaked with such enlightening, tasty and existentially profound goodness that to simply write about it now is sending me into a bit of feverish delight. How I see it now, in the context of the Obama phenomenon and "Obamamania" is that I imagine myself at an Obama rally. I am symbolically stripped to my underwear as I let myself once again believe in my childhood idealism. I let myself become vulnerable as I let loose of my defenses and stand there amidst the crowd half-naked. We are all half-naked before Obama. We all have our hearts in his hands as we stand there not knowing what to do. It is a bit embarrassing to admit in public that one believes in hope and that one still wants to be proud of the American flag and that one does indeed like the idea of getting along with his fellow Americans, these multi-colored, multi-national taco ingredients that are wrapped inside the shell which is the inspiration Obama sets on fire within us all. Oh yes, the FIRE! It is the fire that feeds us, this inspiration that splatters all over our half-naked bodies as every word coming out of Obama's mouth feels like a spicy, zesty wet blanket of HOT SAUCE upon our skin. It drips all over us and makes us feel fully clothed even though we are in our underwear. It soaks our underwear and we do not care. In fact, we revel in it. The discomfort we must feel at an Obama rally is more than worth the memory of knowing we did indeed take part in history.

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Sunday, February 8, 2009

Give Me Liberty And Clean Underwear

Here is the first installment of my "All-Star Photo-Ops" which will be a regular feature on this blog. These special photo-ops give me a chance to emphasize my patriotic side and to show a little "tough love" as I urge my fellow Americans to make the necessary sacrifices to get our nation going again.

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obama humor


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