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Sunday, March 29, 2009

Is The Obama Santa Claus Also A "Reverse Robin Hood"?

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Obama as santa clausOf course there is the inevitable comparison to Barack Obama as Santa Claus. He gets that label, first of all, by his simply being a Democrat who are often criticized as givers of hand-outs to poor people who do not deserve them because they allegedly don't work hard enough. Secondly, President Obama takes office at a time when the giving of "hand-outs" is a necessary evil in turning around our economy. Strangely enough, though, this time around all the taxpayers' money is being given to people who are already rich and are in the trouble they are in because they SQUANDERED the resources of normal American taxpayers! It's a really odd situation and some might even say suspicious. Conspiracy theories abound and there are some who look at the fact that Obama and McCain were tied neck and neck in early September and it was only until the economic bubble burst and all these banks started failing and needing help when voters started to give Obama the nod. So it was the failure of the banks which got Obama elected and now that he is President he is giving the money they lost back to them using American tax dollars! It really is strange, isn't it? It is so paradoxical because we have conservatives complaining on one front about the pending tax hike on those making more than $250,000 a year and at the same time we have the REAL money being taken away from the middle class to bail-out the banks! There is all this talk about Obama being "Robin Hood" and wanting to "take from the rich and give to the poor" but if you get away from party talking points and ideology and look at what is actually HAPPENING, the exact OPPOSITE is the case. Now, I don't know of any rule or qualification or constitutional amendment that actually says that to be Santa Claus you have to give to the poor, right? I guess Obama can give to the rich and still be Santa Claus so it is all good! I am a big believer in Obama and his agenda, though, and even if things look a bit strange and uneven right now I'm sure they will all balance out in the end.

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Mexican Rock Climbers Give AIG Executive Tacos For Christmas

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aig executive receives mexican tacosI hate to quote George W. Bush, but as he once said, "There are some jobs Americans just won't do" and so we let the Mexicans come in and do them. Personally, I don't ride on such a "high horse" as an American to think there are certain jobs I am just too good for. Before "advancing" to my current job at a Mexican fast food restaurant, I actually worked as the janitor at an adult book store, tasked with cleaning up the movie viewing booths, which is a job I'm sure most Americans would refuse to engage in. But besides that, it is a shame that Bush's quote became a catalyst for collective American giggles and mockery of the Mexican people who are unfortunate enough to not have it as good as Americans do. In the picture above you see an extract from my larger painting, "The Christmas Bail-Out Of Taco-Filled Cat Bellies" which attempts to document the U.S. government's recent TARP bailout of U.S. Banks. In this extract you see two brave Mexican rock climber buddies of President-Elect Obama scaling down the side of a cliff in order to give a starving "Fat" Cat AIG executive, who is sinking in the green guacamole of his own greed, a few tacos to eat for the holidays. Of course, witnessing the public outrage recently over the giving of AIG bonuses to AIG employees using taxpayer money, no American would volunteer to do this for an AIG employee. So we have a couple nice and charitable Mexicans once again having to do America's "dirty work." I'm not chastising Americans for their stance on such matters. All I am trying to do is give the Mexican people who do work hard and labor tirelessly doing jobs we refuse to do a little recognition and credit.

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Bank Of "America" And It's Auspicious Acquisition Of The Merrill Lynch Mexican "Bull" Logo

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bank of america fat catBank of America was one of the banks to receive money from the TARP legislation but from what I understand it wasn't technically "bail-out" money because it was used by Bank of America to buy out and take over the troubled Merrill Lynch. The only reason I'm somewhat defending Bank of America is because they gave me my first credit card, and at the time I really appreciated it. Yes, they are greedy corporate crooks just like all the rest, more than likely. They are known for their aggressive tactics and extending large credit lines at high rates to people who perhaps shouldn't qualify. If you are late on a payment they will call you day and night until you pay up and if you are late for too long, well, prepare to see your finance rate skyrocket. But still, they are the Bank of AMERICA and they have volunteered to integrate an important symbol of Mexican culture into their corporate mythology and that is the symbol of the BULL, as in bullfighting which is one of the most popular sports in Mexico. Where did the bull symbol come from? It is the logo of Merrill Lynch which Bank of America took over, of course. I couldn't help but think that this whole thing was by design, that the Bank of "America" adopting the Mexican bull as its own may very well be a sign of the increasing importance of Mexico to the American economy, culture and way of life. I am already trying to get a headstart on the mixing of both culture's symbols in my "Obama Taco Underwear" painting series.

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Following The Great Christmas Underwear Star Of Greedy Corporate Crooks

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underwear starOn a snowy Christmas Eve night, President-Elect Barack Obama put on his Santa Claus suit, met with a few of his Mexican friends, gathered up a few tacos from the trash cans of local Mexican restaurants and set out into the dark, chilly night, following the Great Christmas Underwear Star Of Greedy Corporate Crooks in an effort to find the former Fat Cat chief executives of down-trodden banks who had recently asked the government for bail-out money. It is this "Great Christmas Underwear Star" that symbolizes the nakedness and humiliation that these executives must feel as they beg the taxpayers for money to pay for their own avarice and incompetence. It had been rumored that these money-grubbing weasels had fallen off a cliff and found themselves slowly sinking deeper and deeper into a green guacamole pit of their own greed. When Santa Obama arrived the Fat Cats had become so emaciated, so starved for something to fit inside their shriveled bellies that when Obama offered them tacos if they promised to never again have the band "Earth, Wind and Fire" play at any more of their parties and instead opt for the savory, spicy melodies of whatever Mexican salsa band was hottest at the time, they meowed in resounding agreement. It is then when the Great Christmas Underwear Star above gleamed most brightly as it was discovered that Santa Obama, in his beatific benevolence and charming, persuasive eloquence, could turn even a financial disaster into a cause for the appreciation of other cultures.

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Obama Says, "Tacos And Not Drugs!"

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mexican santa sleigh driverFeliz Navidad! To me there is no better thing to eat on Christmas day than delicious,zesty Mexican food. The spicy hot sauce and savory seasonings put a jalapeno in your heart and splatter your holiday spirit full of hot sauce happiness. Though he was not yet officially President yet, on Christmas Eve Barack Obama put on a Santa Claus suit and asked a few Latino-Americans to volunteer to help him as he flew about the country giving tacos to those in need in an effort to promote multi-culturalism and awareness of the growing problems in Mexico. Not only do we have the persistent dilemma of immigration to deal with, there are dangerous drug wars that are increasing in their savagery in Mexican border towns like Tijuana and Juarez. This war has spilled over a bit into our country as a few Americans in San Diego, California and El Paso, Texas have reported opening some of their Christmas presents to find the severed head of a Mexican drug dealer in the box! As the debate rages on as to whether the U.S. government should consider legalizing drugs to stop this madness, President Obama and his Mexican buddies have a different idea which is best expressed through the slogan, " TACOS AND NOT DRUGS!!

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The Macabre Post-Election Transformation Of Reverend Jeremiah "Wrightenstein"

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jeremiah wright with obamaAs Jeremiah Wright said in his speeches during the election campaign last year, if Barack Obama became president he was going to come after him with criticism in regard to America's alleged shortcomings in the areas of civil rights and social justice. I like Jeremiah Wright and respect him as a master of his trade and as an important voice in the black Christian community. I think Jeremiah Wright's incendiary remarks regarding U.S government experiments on blacks and our deserving what happened on 9/11 actually helped Obama in the sense that it gave him a sort of "street cred" and took a bit away from the conspiracy theories that said he was a Manchurian candidate serving as a puppet for white corporate executives and other shadowy rich old white men behind the scenes. Race is always going to be an important issue in America but it's a shame that after the election Jeremiah Wright became "Reverend Wrightenstein" and started doing all these horrific experiments in a lab underneath an undisclosed church, with Father Pfleger as his "Igor-like" assistant. To somehow make up for their divisive racial remarks during the election, they are trying to "trump" Obama in the area of "racial unity" by performing experiments on the cadavers of various races and interchanging their body parts to create these zombie-like creatures to be used by the group ACORN to "get out the vote" for dead people in 2012. While I think Reverend Wrightenstein's heart is in the right place, someone needs to please tell him to return the dead body of my long dead "typical white grandmother" to her final resting spot before he tries to give her the head of some anonymous Mexican dude or gives her the legs of some poor long-deceased Asian man.

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Reverend Wrightenstein's Experiments Warn Against Extremism Regarding Muticultural Unity

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mexican ape man experimentHere we have the results of an evil experiment of Reverend Wrightenstein in which the head of a Mexican man is placed upon the head of a King Kong-sized gorilla and serves as the counterpart to another experiment in which the King Kong's head is placed upon the body of a white male Obama supporter. This should serve as a warning to people that we must keep these lofty ideas of multi-cultural unity on the plane of ideology and they should be put in practice by performing good deeds for one another. Mexicans should help whites who should help blacks as the Asians pitch in their part, also. This is a warning that none of us should be like the evil Reverend Wrightenstein and take these things LITERALLY, meaning, we should not take the body parts of people from another race and try to attach them on to a person of a different race. Within every political ideology there is inevitably a faction which gravitates toward extremism and I just don't want to see this idea of "multi-cultural unity" getting out of hand. The best way, I think, for this idea of racil unity to manifest itself physically, of course, is for different races to consider copulating with one anther as much as possible so as to have perfectly healthy multicultural babies. The "mixing of the races" should take place in the gene pool and not in the gruesome interchanging of body parts, please.

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Saturday, March 28, 2009

Michelle Obama As "White-Out" For Smears Concerning Her Husband

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michelle obama in wedding dressHere is Michelle Obama in her white wedding dress. I'm not really into portraying President Obama's family too much. For instance, you won't see me include his children in any of my "Obama Taco Underwear" installments. I did want to document for myself, though, something about Michelle that I noticed early on in last year's election campaign. Early on, when the whole country was just getting to know Obama I admittedly questioned alot of things about him. I'd heard all the smears and all the rumors and I gradually researched and debunked all of them for myself. One thing that aided this process was hearing Michelle Obama speak in both speeches and interviews. Now matter how "exotic" Barack can seem with his rich, varied background, Michelle has the former last name of "Robinson" and just came across as so sensible, down-to-earth, honest and genuine. She just seems like a regular American girl who worked hard to get to where she was and I found all the smears about Barack to be ridiculous when you imagine him married to Michelle. She just seems to balance everything out and becomes like "white-out" to vanish all the smears and make Barack seem like a normal everyday dude. He would have to be to be married to such a wonderful, honest woman.

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Reverend Wrightenstein's Monster And Its Parallel To The 2008 Election Campaign

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hot sauce on big foot's footIn addition to being a big fan of werewolves I also am interested somewhat in other hairy humanoid creatures like Bigfoot, the Chupacabra and, as I explore in the painting, "The Evil Experiment Of Reverend Wrightenstein", King Kong. This picture is meant to be King Kong's foot. It is the symbol of the foot of what is allegedly a scary, vicious creature, but here you see a hole in the foot from which shines the sun and from which drips delicious, zesty hot sauce. This hole, of course, has parallels to the nail hole driven into the foot of Christ during the Crucifixion. The whole notion of the dismembered monster foot with a hole in it, to me, is a statement concerning people whom many don't understand, people in society who are "different" and thus labeled "monsters" by the masses and either crucified as Christ was or attacked with pitchforks and torches as was Frankenstein's monster. Alot of the vicious smears directed at Barack Obama during the election campaign because he was different than any other former President remind me of how quick ignorant people are to harshly judge that which they do not understand or someone who doesn't look like or act like them.

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Hot Sauce As A Unifier In The Race Experimentation In The Lab Of Reverend Wrightenstein

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ape man obama supporterThe evil Reverend Wrightenstein seeks to expand upon the argument he made during last year's NAACP convention in Detroit last year that says that though certain races may be different, they are definitely not deficient. He seeks to do this by putting the head of a gorilla upon that of a typical white Obama supporter. The gorilla head is used, in Reverend Wrightstein's mind, as a satirical statement against the outdated, stupid racist comparison of blacks to apes. Though apes and whites are indeed in some ways different, what does this have to do with blacks and where do Latinos fit in? And how will the two body parts behave when combined and put into the context of the Obama administration? My guess is that you will see a beautiful so-called "monster" with a fresh change of underwear and an appetite for tacos with bananas in them! I know that there are some who think that Reverend Wrightenstein's theory of "differences vs. deficiencies" is outdated and even racist because nobody wants to acknowledge that there are indeed some differences between blacks and whites. That is where Latinos fit in and that is why you see zesty, savory spicy hot sauce being pumped into the gorilla's skull, in an effort to unify and make the same. I find this whole amalgamation to be a beautiful symbol of the mixing of the races, between blacks, Hispanics and whites and I have long encouraged people to interbreed because, if nothing else, interbreeding creates some very beautiful and exotic-looking women.

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Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Wind Turbines And Increased Sexual Freedom In the American Southwest

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wind turbines and homosexualityOil man, T. Boone Pickens, has been making alot of commercials where he talks about his big wind farm and how we as a country can harness wind as a major source of energy in the upcoming years. Alot of what I was thinking when I made my painting, "The Gay Green Energy Of Frankengore" was about the powers of the wind but in a more metaphorical way as in letting the wind take me wherever it pleased, anywhere I could be free and bonding with other men is fine with me! Now that Al Gore has announced that once he becomes "Secretary of Taco Ingredient Farming" and that Mexican food will play a major role in making our planet greener, many men-- and I just may become one of them-- are bound to flock down to the American Southwest to work on the tomato, lettuce and jalapeno farms to get good government jobs that have health benefits. We will get to work with our male Mexican neighbors in creating a greener economy, making us not only free from oil but also free from any of society's restrictions on sexual orientation and the so-called "laws" governing who or what a male American should engage in intimate relationships with. It is the touch of the wind on your skin while working on a hot jalapeno farm sometimes that finally frees a man from the prison he has lived in that told him he should never admire the body of another man. Once these American males get down there close to the border and they start to work together in their underwear, as Al Gore said he would have them do, all bets will be off and the wind blowing from nearby wind turbine farms will be enough to finally make many males realize they have been missing out on so much multi-cultural pleasure. Now that's "Change (in orientation) You Can Believe In" indeed!

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Mexicans And Americans Work Together In Underwear To Fill The Gas Tank Of A Tractor

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mexican american workers in their underwearThere is no longer any shame in hanging out in one's underwear with other men. There should be no embarassment involved if a group of men desire to hang out at the beach or on the tomato and lettuce farms together, wearing nothing but their underwears as they work up a sweat and admire one another's physiques. Alot of hard work needs to be done to save the planet and to get this green economy rolling. Much of it is very hard labor in the lettuce, tomato and jalapeno fields for the cause of growing only the finest ingredients for Mexican food. The tiresome labor has a risk of causing a decline in male worker morale and that is why, though they might not reveal it openly, the Obama administration is in full support of male workers forming loving physical bonds with one another. Secretary of Taco Ingredient Farming, Al Gore, realizes that many straight, macho American and Mexican men might be reluctant to engage in same-sex affairs with their co-workers at first and that is why men will be allowed to work in their underwear so as to initiate a certain sense of freedom and a gradual lusting for one another's bodies as the work gets tougher and the bodies get harder and the skin gets wetter and wetter under a hot taco sun. Men will find that they will gravitate toward one another naturally, American and Mexican men will not only feel better about their work environment by engaging in physical recreation with one another, but they will also be working toward the goal of multi-cultural unity. The energy gained from these intimate male worker relationships is not only clean but, it can also, if hooked up to and ran through the appropriate hose, often fill up the entire gas tank of a tractor to be used in the jalapeno fields.

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Al Gore's "Taco Ingredient Farms" And the Advancement Of Multi-Cultural Male Unity

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mexican american gay tomato field workersIt's no secret that many of the green jobs that Al Gore has promised to provide Americans with once he is appointed "Secretary of Taco Ingredient Farming" by Obama will be the wonderful jobs on the tomato and lettuce farms near the Mexican border in the American Southwest. Since Al Gore fully understands the symbolism of a taco he will make sure that only the finest workers will be sent to these farms where the important taco ingredients of tomatoes and lettuce are grown. Here is where Mexican and American workers will serve the American-Mexican Union hand-in-hand, working together to renew the future of both countries. There will be many hot days but the nights will be full of bliss as many green-minded American men may find themselves bonding with some wonderful, hairy-chested, muscular Mexican farm workers. After filling their tummies with the clean energy they receive from eating tacos filled with fresh lettuce and ripe tomatoes all day, it will be time to engage in certain pleasurable "acts of unity" that will be bound to create the needed tension and friction to run a generator at night to keep the lights on over the fields so that workers can pick tomatoes and lettuce around the clock. It won't be easy work but the benefits will be immeasurable as American and Mexican men learn to love one another in ways which some of them may never have before dreamed of.

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Tuesday, March 24, 2009

First Appearance Of Upside Down Underwear On Heads Of Politicians

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obama al gore green energyDemocratic party folk hero, Al Gore, isn't green with envy in this pic over the fact that Barack Obama won the Presidency when he wasn't able to do so in 2000. He is green with the hope that Obama will help him make great strides in the areas of greener, cleaner energy. I have put a pair of upside-down underwear on Barack Obama's head to symbolize his humility in the presence of the revered Al Gore as the two embrace in a celebration of environmental awareness. Al Gore, not being one to let someone wear underwear on their head alone, decided to take his own underwear off and put it on his head also in act of party unity. Though Obama's presidency has thus far been dominated by efforts to fix the problems with the banks on Wall Street, the overall theme of fixing the economy beyond just the banks will become a bigger priority and it is only a matter of time before the environment and the creation "green jobs" become a huge part of this equation and the talk of the nation. This is when Al Gore will reappear. He will have more "inconvenient truths" for America to have to digest and he will play a large role in creating many of these "green jobs" in the Southwestern United States on tomato and letttuce farms in government programs intended to integrate Mexican and American cultures, force Mexicans and American people to work together and love one another as they grow vegetables to put in tasty tacos and other zesty Mexican food dishes.

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Deep In The Stimulus Bill There Is Money For Alternative Gay Energy Studies?

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gay alternative love energyThere is alot of talk about energy these days, especially about trying to figure out alternative solutions to oil. One type of energy most do not talk about but I think was an integral component of Obama's election campaign message was that of love. It is important to remember that humans cannot figure out any types of alternative energy solutions without forming some sort of bond with their fellow man. There is the more generalized form of love which involves love for your fellow man that is expressed more in doing good deeds for them or helping them out in need. There is the more intense, intimate love that involves a man and a woman and includes kissing and love-making. Then we have what I think is the most intense love and perhaps one which creates the most potent form of energy, and that is intimate love between two men. This type of "gay love" has been used as a cultural wedge in our country and has been the cause of much divisiveness. It should be pointed out, though, that a "love act" between two men that involves so much friction and rubbing of hairs and petroleum lubricant should be studied. It is my hope that somewhere deep in the Stimulus Bill that was recently passed in congress there is some grant money to study this very thing, how energy can be funneled into a useful medium from the erotic acts of two males making good use of their alternative love energy.

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Monday, March 23, 2009

Tacos And Burritos Must Remain The Same Amidst Such A Dramatic Change In Underwear

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obama zombie of hopeAhhhh, there's nothing like a little HOPE to make a tired, weary and sad zombie spring up from his grave and want to strut his stuff! This phenomenon is occuring all over America as the Obama movement has injected new life into so many progressive and liberal-minded people. After 8 long years of feeling claustrophobic in their dark, wet graves, these freedom-loving zombies have arisen and they have received a fresh pair of underwear from their vampiric puppet overlord, Zbigniew Brezinski. There are some that say former national security advisor to Jimmy Carter, Zbigniew Brzezinski, is now in control of Obama and that he turned Barack into a vampire while he was attending Columis University in the late 80's. They say that Zbig is planning a scheme of world domination to further the goals of his Trilateral Commission. I say, who really cares? If having Obama as President makes this many feel good, if it makes zombies rise from the dead and puts a spring in all our steps after wearing stale Republican-stained underwear for so long, what does it matter if Obama is a puppet of the Trialteral Commission because this fresh pair of underwear change feels so good! It almost makes me want to become an underwear model. Wait, I already am one! Hahahahaa.

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Obama Hope Inspires Many Zombie Liberals To Become Underwear Models

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obama zombie of hopeAhhhh, there's nothing like a little HOPE to make a tired, weary and sad zombie spring up from his grave and want to strut his stuff! This phenomenon is occuring all over America as the Obama movement has injected new life into so many progressive and liberal-minded people. After 8 long years of feeling claustrophobic in their dark, wet graves, these freedom-loving zombies have arisen and they have received a fresh pair of underwear from their vampiric puppet overlord, Zbigniew Brezinski. There are some that say former national security advisor to Jimmy Carter, Zbigniew Brzezinski, is now in control of Obama and that he turned Barack into a vampire while he was attending Columis University in the late 80's. They say that Zbig is planning a scheme of world domination to further the goals of his Trilateral Commission. I say, who really cares? If having Obama as President makes this many feel good, if it makes zombies rise from the dead and puts a spring in all our steps after wearing stale Republican-stained underwear for so long, what does it matter if Obama is a puppet of the Trialteral Commission because this fresh pair of underwear change feels so good! It almost makes me want to become an underwear model. Wait, I already am one! Hahahahaa.

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A Taco Is Not Just A Taco And A Zombie Is Not Always Someone Without A Brain

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obama zombieSo many people have figuratively "risen from the dead" with the sudden emergence of the Obama movement. In my "Obama Taco Underwear" series painting, "The Trilateral Puppet Graveyard of Count Zbigula" I have portrayed many sombrero-wearing, zombie-like Obama supporters rising from the dead but this is not to imply that they have no soul or that they mindlessly go to Obama rallies. It is to show the renewal of energy these people have and a restored faith they possess in the government and in the American people. Sure, in the grand scheme of things we are probably all puppets on a string, but there are so many people who are now involved in politics who never were. People who never thought they'd vote or they would ever vote again were slowly being awoken during the 2008 Presidential Election Campaign and now things will never be the same. The election of Obama in 2008 proved that it is not the American people who have bad judgment but it is those who are in office; the people who run the show are the ones to blame if things do not work out. That is why I never want to forget the outcome of the election, that no matter what happens the fact can't be taken away that the American people voted for CHANGE and if we do not get it it is not our fault. No one can take away what this country accomplished in 2008. This is a distinction I always try to make, that Obama and his success as President does not reflect upon the people who voted for him. What the people voted for when they voted for Obama were ideals and principles that have been in our hearts since the beginning of time and long before Obama was ever even born. These ideals are powerful enough to raise the dead and they have. They are potent enough to make even the most jaded recluse who hates all people to finally climb out of his rat-hole, climb up from the grave and put on a sombrero to not only lovingly interact with his neighbors but actually begin to care about other cultures for the cause of UNITY. A taco is not just a taco and a zombie is not necessarily someone without a brain.

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Sunday, March 22, 2009

Zbigniew Brzezinski as Obama Puppet Master And Influence Behind Musical, "Barackula"

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zbigniew brzezinskiFormer National Security Advisor to Jimmy Carter, Zbigniew Brzezinski, weaves his shadowy evil web as he plots to use Barack Obama as his puppet to further his leftist agenda as a major member of the Trilateral Commission, a multi-national liberal confederation of vampire rulers bent on world domination. It is said that between 1981 and 1983 Brzezinski and Obama were both at Columbia University and that this is when Brzezinski turned Obama into a vampire. This is actually the influence behind the popular online musical, Barackula, though this musical doesn't have the facts completely right. In Barackula, Obama is portrayed as being at Harvard University in 1990 and put into a position where he has to fight off a secret society of vampires. The truth is that by the time Obama got to Harvard he already was a vampire and this transformation was due to the sweet dark-side kiss of his evil teacher, Count Zbigula. You sometimes see Zbigniew Brzezinski doing interviews on television and he seems like such a kind, intelligent grandfatherly figure. Behind it all, though this creepy old man is a sinister blood-sucker who, during the Jimmy Carter years, set the stage for the radicalization of Islam by pitting Osama bin laden and the Mujahideen in Afghanistan against the Soviet Union which led to the Great Bear's demise. Many consider Carter's Presidency as a dismal failure but it was anything but that for the Trialteral Commission which plans far, far ahead and the seeds sown during the 70's are in Zbig's eyes now about to bear fruit as he once again plots against Russia just as Russia is once again starting to show its muscle. This ancient, creepy old man knows that he is getting old, even for a vampire, and he might not have long to see his evil plot manifest so he is bound to be in a big hurry to get his puppet apprentice, Obama, going on getting this massive World War started!!

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Dark Side Of Obama Represented By His Being Portrayed As A Vampire

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obama as aa vampireIn the painting, "The Trilateral Puppet Graveyard of Count Zbigula," I explore some of the ideas I'd heard around the summer which talked about conspiracies surrounding Obama. This made me want to do a painting to portray him in sort of a spooky, yet still whimsical, light and I decided to make him a vampire. I'd just finished reading a book by Webster Griffin Tarpley entitled Obama: Post-Modern Coup and it satisfied the conspiracy theorist in me much more than the right-wing smears about Obama being a Muslim, a murderer of gays, a crack addict, etc. I was looking for something a bit more involved and insidious and having to do more with elaborate schemes of world domination than all these cheap slams on his character. Webster Tarpley seems like a pretty brilliant guy and there is alot of good information in the book. He was wrong about a few things. My edition of the book came out in Spring 2008 and in it Tarpley said that McCain would pick Lieberman as his running mate. He also wrote a whole chapter talking about how Obama would lose the election which, of course, was incorrect. The main focus of the book is on Obama's relationship with Zbig Brzezinski, a former advisor to Jimmy Carter and a primary member of the Trilateral Commision. Tarpley says that Obama is a puppet of Brzezinski who wants to get us in a huge world war with Russia and China. We'll see what develops. I like to read conspiracy theories and lore but I approach it all like I would about anything else. Some of it rings true, some of it is ridiculous and some of it is just entertaining. Mainly I think I like it because of its mythological traits in that it rides such a fine line between reality and fantasy and feeds my imagination and fills it with more symbols to play around with. Even the crazy parts alot of times seem to have some degree of value to them, if only from the socio-psychological perspective of why people actually believe or want to believe such stuff.

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Immigration And The False Hope Of Ever Seeing The Statue Of Liberty's Underwear

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statue of liberty in underwearI know that there are many naughty immigrant men out there who, when they see a pretty American girl wearing a dress or skirt, they want to lift it up to see what American mysteries and secrets lie underneath. Of course, good manners and an individual's right to privacy prohibit immigrants from doing this without the American lady's permission. This is why the Statue of Liberty's gown is made of stone to symbolize this fact, to demonstrate that once an immigrant man tries to lift up her gown to see her underwear he, of course, won't get very far. I think this makes a good metaphor for immigrants coming into the country. It is a message which says if you do not learn to speak English and follow our nation's laws you will not get very far in this country, you will not get to see America's fruits, the sparkling panties of our Statue of Liberty. Of course, literally, no one ever gets to see the Lady Liberty's underwear. It is a "false hope" just like how rich Republicans trick lower-income conservatives into becoming enraged over a modest tax hike upon those making over $250,000 a year, an income level they will never attain, anyway, but we all must have our American dream of being rich, just as we all must dare to desire a peek at the Lady Liberty's sensuous underpants, even though we know deep inside that it is impossible for us to do so.

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A Taco In the Quarterback's Hands Is So Exciting

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brett favre holds a tacoBrett Favre, in his new Jets uniform, takes the snap and steps back in the pocket, holding a taco instead of a football. What would his fans think of that? Well, it is my belief that when you see a quarterback holding a taco it means that ANYTHING could happen, you have no idea how the play will turn out. When a quarterback throws a taco, the ingredients could fly about and land almost anywhere. Sour cream could splat upon the back of the guy playing center. Tomatoes could be intercepted by an opposing team's cornerback. Bits of lettuce could be seized and gnawed upon by hungry linebackers and this might slow the game down as the crowd waits for them to get their fill. Pieces of shredded cheese might fall to the ground and be recovered by a safety and ran the other way for a touchdown. Bits of ground beef, though, are heavy enough and could actually fly through the air in such a way that a wide receiver could catch one of them and run it in for SIX! That is why I think it is appropriate to place a taco in the quarterback's hands because it symbolizes the excitement one feels when you see the quarterback take the snap and step back. You never know where he is going to throw the ball or if he is going to get sacked. And perhaps he could tackled so hard that the snapping of his poor bones could be analogous to the crunching sounds you'd hear when a big heavy linebacker stomps on a taco shell with his cleats?

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Here's Hoping Obama And Brett Favre Do Not Have Parallel Narratives

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brett favre with barack obamaHere we see Barack Obama coupled with NFL quarterback, Brett Favre. When Brett Favre went to the New York Jets late last summer, Obama offered Favre a change in fresh underwear to resolve a locker room dispute he was engaged in with his new teammates. Now, with a fresh, sparkling pair of tightie whities on, Favre is ready to embark on his new season. I've discussed how the image of Favre wearing his brand-new pair of underwear was a important, magical portent of how the Presidential Election would turn out, that the change Favre underwent would manifest itself with Barack Obama winning the election to go along with the theme of "change." Now, looking at how Favre fared in his 2008 season with the Jets we get an omen which might not sit so well with Obama supporters. Favre started out the year with a victory over the Miami Dolphins, and the Jets were looking pretty solid. About three-fourths of the way into the season they beat the Tennesse Titans at Tennessee to hand the Titans their first loss of the year and it was discussed among the pundits how the Jets might indeed be the favorite to win the Super Bowl! But right after the big win over Tennessee, the Jets embarked on a pretty bad finish to the season, losing most of their final games.

If we go along with the belief that Brett Favre's Jets season last year is an indicator of how Obama's political career will turn out, we see a man whom people have laid alot of expectations and high hopes upon. Obama's winning the election could be seen as analogous to Favre and the Jets beating Tennessee and now, just as football analysts thought the Jets might be the Super Bowl favorite, there are some who think Obama is a sort of "Messiah." Let's hope that Obama will not end up like Favre, though. Let's hope that his "arm" does not get tired as Favre's did and that he doesn't become weakened by the cold that hits alot of the nation near play-off time. If you remember, the New York Jets, after being heralded furture NFL champs, a month later did not even make the play-offs. Does this bode badly for Obama's re-election prospects? Being an Obama fan and supporter, I'm hoping to see some other symbols develop in the 2009 NFL season which portend a change in the current narrative. I see football as a prophetic language and it is important to watch the games, not only for their entertainment value, but for their potential to tell us many things about the future of our nation and its leaders.

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Saturday, March 21, 2009

Brett Favre In Tightie-Whities Predicts Obama's 2008 Election Victory

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brett favre in tightie-whitiesThe sight of an NFL quarterback standing proudly in a pair of brand-new tightie-whities is indeed a sight to behold. It seems to be such a quintessentially American image, a young, muscular man who is a proven leader standing in clean, fresh pure white underwear that covers his fertile, vital reproductive organs which give birth to the American dream. This observation is especially relevant in the case of Brett Favre who changed his old, nasty yellow underwears of 17 years and put on the pictured brand new pair of tightie-whities that Obama gave him just as he joined his new team, the New York Jets, in 2008. What a powerful American symbol of hope and renewal! This was surely an omen that Barack Obama was going to win the election and he did. That is why I think with the NFL, if you study the games and how the narrative develops as the "Great Story" proceeds throughout the season, you can often learn alot about life and you can also use it to predict important non-sports-related events.

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Green Mold, Yellow Cheese And Mexican Food Alchemy in Relation To Team Colors

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brett favre in yellow packer underwearBrett Favre stands proudly in the yellow Green Bay Packers underwear he was given as soon as he joined the team. Seventeen years later he still wore it and didn't change it until he joined the New York Jets and a fight erupted in the locker room against the overbearing stench. Favre's underwear is yellow to represent the cheese that is made in Wisconsin. Cheese is a primary ingredient in a taco and many other types of Mexican food. Cheese can easily represent the sun and its warm rays but in the case of Favre a lesson can be learned about what happens when cheese goes bad, when it hangs around too long and starts to get green mold on it, exhibiting both colors of the Packers: green and yellow.

Favre had a wonderful career with the Packers and had a great opportunity to go back to the Super Bowl for a third time in January 2008 until he again threw a bone-headed interception to essentially end the game and allowed the New York Giants to win the NFC Championship game. This is what happens when good cheese hangs around too long and when a man doesn't change his underwear for 17 years. What we have learned is that with the mythology of Mexican food integrated with that of NFL football, the Packers represent the stale and/or rotten Mexican food ingredients, mainly yellow cheese covered in green mold, and I can hopefully explore that particular sports metaphor more in the future in connection with Obama and politics to create an artistic alchemy that be both entertaining and profound.

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Wednesday, March 18, 2009

George Bush And Presidential "Ghost Mouth" Syndrome

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george bush ghost mouthGeorge Bush is seen here with ghosts coming out of his mouth. Someone told me that this is a common thing with U.S. presidents, that at night they are often kept awake in their bedrooms as they choke on the ghosts of people who have died during their presidency because of decisions they have made. Whether the President's decisions were good or bad, right or just, all men with so much power must feel the spirits of those they have caused to die inside their flesh and they must choke on the ghosts of the dead. George Bush must choke on the dead of 911 and the dead, fallen warriors who so bravely have fought for this nation during the Bush years.

Have you noticed that the newly-annointed President Obama has been coughing alot lately? A couple days ago at a news conference he was ranting about insurance giant, AIG, giving out bonuses to its employees after receiving billions of dollars of bailout money from the American people. He started coughing during the rant and joked that he was "choking on anger." hahahaa. It was another one of Obama's charming, wonderful moments that make him so alluring but it was interesting to think that he was actually choking on the ghosts of the dead that the power of his office is responsible for. Of course he will not say this. He will not start coughing in public and say, "Sorry, folks, I'm choking on the ghosts of our fallen warriors" but those who are in the metaphysical, paranormal "beltway" know EXACTLY what causes the coughing. It is the dead the President is responsible for. Obama said just a few days after his inauguration that one of the most sobering experiences he had as President so far, when the weight of his office really hit him, was when he had to sign letters to the families of our fallen soldiers. In time he will learn to control his ghostly coughing and keep it confined to to the bedroom as the ghosts keep him awake at night and he tries to sleep during these coughing fits. The dead never let you forget and that is the way it should be!

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Tacos, Underwear And A Failed Attempt At "Feel Good Art"

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osama bin laden with 911 firemanThere are some things that even a tasty taco cannot reconcile. There are some things so horrible and anger-inducing and sad that even injecting a delicious, zesty taco into the picture cannot alleviate the negativity. And no, not even underwear can help, either. In this picture you see Osama bin Laden with his arms around a ghost of a fallen 911 fireman. He has a pair of American underwear on his head and a Mexican taco in his hand. I thought it would be interesting to try and make a portrait of forgiveness and unity. I've tried to align the victim with its murderer, add a taco and a pair of underwear and see if it would make me feel better, if somehow through art I could paint a prettier picture and grant myself at least a bit of redemption, give myself a bit of peace over the fact that our country wasted 7 long years fighting the WRONG WAR in Iraq to fill the coffers of despicable, money-grubbing, greedy corporate hands who lied us into thinking they were trying to save us from the "boogeyman." No taco and no pair of funny, humorous underwear on someone's head can make me feel better, can make me feel as if I have not been swindled and blatantly deceived by my nation and its leaders. Not only am I angry at Osama bin Laden but I am mad at my own country. A major element in President Obama's campaign was that of "HOPE" and I am hoping he will set things right, that he will be successful in Afghanistan, that he will set right the financial disaster the war and those corporate crooks have left our country with. I have hope that Obama is our man, that he is right and he is just and that by the end of his presidency the taco will lie peacefully alongside the underwear and I can look at pictures of Osama bin laden without wanting to scream.

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Tuesday, March 17, 2009

The Possible Use Of Tom Brady As A Government Propaganda Tool

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dick cheney with tom bradyHere we see New England Patriots quarterback, Tom Brady, hanging out with his buddy, Dick Cheney. Just as strange as Barack Obama's ascendency to the Presidency was, I think you can also say the same for the way Tom Brady stepped in during the 2001 NFL season and began his now Hall of Fame career and the New England patriots dyansty. I've thought for a long time that there is something going on with the NFL, that it is rigged in some mysterious way that goes well beyond perhaps members of gambling rings paying off players to under-perform. I have a gut feeling that Tom Brady is some kind of "plant," a robot or perhaps extra-terrestrial, or at the least that he was brainwashed by Bush/Cheney and their cronies to aid the Bush administration in a post 911 subliminal propaganda campaign urging us all to be "Patriots" and support the "Patriot Act" in addition to whatever executive decisions Bush might make or whatever other tricks the government had up its sleeve to further their oil-grubbing agenda in the MidEast. Don't you find it strange that during the NFL season in which Bush is to step down, last season, Tom Brady gets injured for the remainder of the year in the first game of the season? Could it be that he was just no longer needed?

And today at a St. Patrick's Day dinner, President Obama announced that Dan Rooney would be the ambassador to Ireland. This is the same Dan Rooney who owns the Pittsburgh Steelers, the team that won the Super Bowl this past February. And what do the 2001 Tom Brady and and the 2008 Dan Rooney have in common? They both beat a team in the Super Bowl that had Kurt warner as its starting quarterback. This is part of the reason why I like to portray NFL quarterbacks in their underwear, to express a need for the government to finally tell us the "naked truth" behind how it uses NFL quarterbacks to manipulate public sentiment.

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Even Tacos And Underwear Cannot Help Osama bin Laden

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obama smokes cigarette during 9/11Here we see Osama bin laden with a pair of American underwear on his head. This is to express how he is not taken seriously as a terrorist by some and how some conspiracists and 911 Truth Movement people say about Osama actually being a CIA operative, that he is used as a boogeyman to strike fear into the hearts of Americans and justify ongoing wars in Iraq and Afghanistan so the government can slowly chip away at the civil liberties of free Americans in ther name of national security. I choose to remain aloof and not take a side in this argument and my goal is simply to document some ideas that are out there. That is why I put a taco in Osama's hand as if to say, "Chill out, Osama, quit killing Americans and eat a taco." Whether Osama is alive or dead; whether he is working for the CIA, the Illuminati, the Shadow Government, the U.S. government or if he really is the leader of Al Qaeda and everything the mainstream media says is true, one thing I know for certain is that if he walked around with a pair of underwear on his head eating tacos all the time he might have alot more friends, not be so angry and maybe not have to live in a cave. That is until someone reported him to the authorities, of course, and he was put in prison and probably later executed for killing nearly 3,000 Americans. Unfortunately for some people it's a case where even tacos and underwear can only do them so much good.

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Monday, March 16, 2009

Obama Smoking A Cigarette Serves As Positive Reminder Of His Humanity

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obama smokes cigarette during 9/11Here we have Barack Obama standing tall between the two towers of the World Trade Center, smoking a cigarette as a plane crashes into one of them during 9/11. In the write-up I made about this larger Obama and 9/11 painting, I talked about this portrayal of Obama smoking being symbolism for the way he seems to remain cool, calm and collected during big events. I suppose it can also be taken as a play on Nero playing his fiddle while Rome burns. What is funny to think about, though, is that Obama more than likely still smoked cigarettes on 9/11/2001 and he was probably just like me as he sat there puffing away on a cigarette, watching the events unfold on the news as he said, "Holy crap."

Obama has since said he quit smoking cigarettes but I'm not sure how much anyone really believes him. My portraying him with a lit cigarette in his hand is in no way meant to criticize him or portray him in a negative light, but to focus on the fact that he is, indeed, human. He has been in office a couple months now and already I see polls where his approval rating is going down and people are starting to question his "competency." I don't agree in the least with any of these rash criticisms. People are already blaming Obama for the failing economy so I suppose they will be blaming him for 9/11 soon too, right? What I want to express here is that I fully realize Obama is human and in alot of ways Obama, the man, is not what I voted for this past election. What I voted for was the idealism and hope and respect for my fellow Americans I felt being awakened inside me when Obama was campaigning. I think it is important not to forget that; especially as Obama begins to have to make tough decisions which are bound to isolate people, I want to keep in mind that they can never take away the memories I have of having faith in my country restored or the joy and pride I felt when he was actually elected President in November, the night we all said no to fear and YES to so much more.

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The Obamamanic Relationship Between Hot Sauce And Underwear

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obama hot sauce and underwearThere are alot of interesting images that pop into one's brain when they think to combine hot sauce with underwear. Many of these images can stray into a territory I don't want to venture into in this blog but suffice it to say that "hotness" and "semi-nakedness" are two things in this world that can get people very worked up. There is alot of work to be done on the artistic front dealing with hot sauce and underwear. It is packed with potent symbolic meaning and soaked with such enlightening, tasty and existentially profound goodness that to simply write about it now is sending me into a bit of feverish delight. How I see it now, in the context of the Obama phenomenon and "Obamamania" is that I imagine myself at an Obama rally. I am symbolically stripped to my underwear as I let myself once again believe in my childhood idealism. I let myself become vulnerable as I let loose of my defenses and stand there amidst the crowd half-naked. We are all half-naked before Obama. We all have our hearts in his hands as we stand there not knowing what to do. It is a bit embarrassing to admit in public that one believes in hope and that one still wants to be proud of the American flag and that one does indeed like the idea of getting along with his fellow Americans, these multi-colored, multi-national taco ingredients that are wrapped inside the shell which is the inspiration Obama sets on fire within us all. Oh yes, the FIRE! It is the fire that feeds us, this inspiration that splatters all over our half-naked bodies as every word coming out of Obama's mouth feels like a spicy, zesty wet blanket of HOT SAUCE upon our skin. It drips all over us and makes us feel fully clothed even though we are in our underwear. It soaks our underwear and we do not care. In fact, we revel in it. The discomfort we must feel at an Obama rally is more than worth the memory of knowing we did indeed take part in history.

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Sunday, March 15, 2009

A Mexican Flag On The U.S. Capitol Building?

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mexican flag on us capitol buildingHere I have placed a Mexican flag on the U.S. Capitol Building, not as a way of being unpatriotic or trying to be offensive or implying that Mexico is "taking over" but to simply represent the fact that I think Mexico and the Hispanic population are going to have a very large role to play in the rebuilding of our nation in this new era which began with the election of President Obama. Is it possible that our next president will perhaps be a Hispanic? I think the Mexican drug wars going on south of the border right now are going to put Mexico more and more in the spotlight as time goes on. People are going to stop laughing about Mexico and perhaps begin to take it more seriously. I think just as the economic collapse in the United States is leading to a sweeping redefining of America and restructuring, the fact that Mexico is on the verge of total collapse will, in the end, somehow bond it closer to the United States and I look forward to seeing what the results of that will be. While it is true that America will always be its own sovereign nation and stand strong in the face of adversity, there can be no doubt that though the flag hanging from the Capitol Building is and always will be an AMERICAN one, the politicians voted in to serve inside the building will be highly influenced by what happens in Mexico and an increasing number of American voters will be Hispanics with Mexican roots.

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Taco Art As A Way Of Taking Mexico Seriously

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obama makes mexican happyAn unsavory-looking Mexican man stands behind President Obama in this picture as perhaps a symbol pointing to the fact that the problems in Mexico will be forever hovering over Obama's head during his administration. I know that in many ways Mexico is not taken seriously by Americans and it gets a bad rap. When Americans think of Mexico they think of tacos, burritos and funny pictures of guys wearing sombreros. But in watching the news it is looking more and more as if we have a nation right next to us involved in a full-blown civil war pitting the Mexican government against the drug cartels. Some people are actually saying that the solution to the problem is to legalize the drugs but do you seriously think that will ever happen in the United States? This ridiculous "solution" seems to be thrown out there by people who basically think there is no solution simply because Americans have never liked to take Mexico seriously. My approach is to not necessarily take Mexico seriously as a THREAT but as a vast resource of culture and art to be further integrated into American life. That is one of the motivations behind my integrating parts of Mexican culture and its delicious food into my "Obama Taco Underwear" painting series.

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Saturday, March 14, 2009

Obama Has Some Mexicans Doing The "Two Taco Tango"

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obama makes mexican happyWhen Obama was slowly drowning Hillary Clinton in his "Hot Sauce of Hope" during the Democratic primaries, there were some people in Mexico who were very happy. They hadn't in their wildest dreams believed that a fellow minority member would ever have a prayer of being President of the United States. They figured that Obama would be much more relaxed on immigration laws, especially after hearing that he supported allowing illegal immigrants to have drivers licenses. Once Obama was elected they figured they could hop right across the border, get a license and start driving a cab or working to deliver nachos, tacos and burritos to all the best Mexican restaurants in this great country of ours. Some of them were so happy, in fact, that they started doing the "Two Taco Tango," dancing all about the place with one taco in the right hand to represent the right-wing policies that want to keep their right foot south of the border; and they held another taco in the LEFT hand to represent Obama's believed "far left" wing views which would allow their left foot, along with their right foot, of course, into the United States. Incidentally, the taco in the left hand also includes a healthy, generous spoonful of sour cream to represent all the white folks whose jobs they are going to take. Hahahaaa.

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Use Of Mexican Food And Underwear As Symbols Of Surpise And the Inappropriate

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hillary clinton covered in hot sauceI created the painting, "Hot Sauce of Hope On the Three Hillarys" not as a way of making fun of Hillary at all but because the horrid disappointment felt by her supporters and her simply had to be documented. I tried to do it in a humorous way, showing Barack Obama dousing her in hot sauce as her three personalities seem to be stuck in Obama's Hot Sauce of Hope. As Obama himself said, "I like Hillary well enough" but during the primaries she seemed to be constantly changing her stances and personalities depending upon where she was campaigning and who she was talking to. And as she continued her dirty, dishonest tricks from state to state she was slowly becoming overwhelmed by Obama's increase in delegates and the country's being weary of negative campaigning.

One thing this picture gives me a chance to explore is the the use of Mexican food and underwear as a way of expressing an offbeat "off the wall" element in politics or life in general, or to symbolize simple but unexpected "shots in the dark." Okay, it sometimes seems to make no sense to insert random tacos and pairs of underwear in political art. It may seem to make no sense or seem inappropriate but I'm sure that's exactly what Hillary said when Barack beat her in the Iowa caucus! I'm sure she lifted her arms in disgust and shouted "How inappropriate! This makes absolutely no sense! I think I need to change my underwear now and eat a taco!" Hahahaa. Among other things, portraying Obama pouring Hot Sauce of Hope upon Hillary and her three personalities is just a way of expressing the surprising events that took place during the 2008 Democratic Primaries.

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Friday, March 13, 2009

A Shark Bite In Familiar Waters Can Be A Good Thing

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jesse jackson bit by sharkJesse Jackson's remarks on FOX News about how he wanted to "cut [Obama's] nuts off" shocked a nation. What was most shocking for many was to hear one of the black community leaders speak in such a way when it was widely thought by whites that all blacks supported Obama and agreed with everything he said. This was a ridiculous belief, of course, because the black community is very diverse, populated by people of very different viewpoints and a few are even Republicans. What the incident taught was the lesson that there are no safe waters for Barack Obama to swim in. Even within the seemingly safe and calm sea of the black community there are those who, like the shark you see in the picture above near Jesse Jackson's head, want to pop out of the water and chew off his leg or, in Jackson's case, his testicles.

What seemed like a negative incident at first for Obama actually brought to light to many that Obama did not fully identify with the "black left" ideology of blaming the government for all of its problems as Jackson is often criticized for doing, nor did he identify with the right-wing notion which says people shouldn't ask too much from their government. The Jesse Jackson "hot mic" incident served to align Obama more with the CENTER of the country and this centrist identification went a long way toward helping him win the election.

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Those Who Sacrifice The Pig Must Also Sacrifice To The Pig

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feed the pig for obamaHere we have Benjamin Banks, the porky star of all those TV commercials that FeedThePig.Org puts out. I haven't seen any of the commercials for awhile and I've noticed they changed the look of Benjamin on the website to something perhaps a little less creepy. The original Benjamin Banks had a more realistic-looking head and was played by an actual human being. It looks like they now use some type of computer animation. Perhaps someone finally got mad at Benjamin and made bacon out of him because, in the commercials, every time someone got their paycheck or came across some money, Benjamin would appear out of nowhere and hold his pink hand out, expecting the person to give him a portion of their hard-earned cash. There wasn't any explanation for the commercial as to what it meant but when you check out the website you see that it is all a metaphor for people putting money in savings. Benjamin represents a "piggy bank," you see.

I included Benjamin Banks in my painting documenting Jesse Jackson's "Obama Castration" Remarks because it follows along with the theme of "sacrifice." Hard-working people must sacrifice by putting money into savings and people making over $250,000 a year must sacrifice a few extra dollars under the Obama tax plan. Hopefully no one will have to sacrifice their nuts as Jesse Jackson said he wanted to do to Obama because Obama simply asked males in the black community to be responsible for their children. It is the responsibility of all Americans to come up with a productive use of their skills in order to "bring home the bacon," not just blacks, and the more bacon we take home to our families the sweeter the taste will be when we put savory, smoked strips of it between our lips and think of Benjamin Banks. "Sacrifice of the Pig" goes hand-in-hand with "Sacrifice TO the Pig" and I think this is an important American lesson we all should keep in mind.

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Thursday, March 12, 2009

An Alternative Metaphor To Jesse Jackson's Castration Remarks

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jesse jackson with castration scissorsI was as disappointed in Jesse Jackson's remarks made on a "hot mic" about Obama over the summer as anyone. His comments about how he wanted to "cut Obama's nuts off" showed that not only is there divisiveness amongst the political parties and races, there is also fighting within the black community. Funnily enough, what Jesse Jackson was angry with Obama about is also a major element of the Republican party's ideology, that of taking personal responsibility. Obama said that black fathers need to start taking more responsibility for the lives of their children while Republicans often say that people need to take more responsibility for their own needs and not look to the government for help.

There is also a more direct connection to Jackson's "cutting" remarks when you think of it not as cutting off Obama's testicles, but in the sense of "cutting the umbilical cord." We all could work to meet people like Jesse Jackson halfway if we say, "Okay, you want to snip at people's body parts with your scissors, how about we cut everyone's umblical cord instead?" Rather than using the grisly metaphor for taking away someone's manhood or potency and speaking of their private parts, we can use one which applies to something everyone goes through as an infant and apply it to the idea of taking personal responsibilty for one's actions and own situation. This ideological compromise alone could perhaps help to unite the black community and that is but one small step toward realizing Obama's goal of a fully united nation.

As far as thinking of something for the Republicans to cut instead of someone's nuts, how about we just ask them to please cut the CRAP? Hahahahahaa.

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Will Women Get Hairier During The Obama Era?

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hairy girl obama supporterI love all kinds of women. I've already wrote a bit about my obsession with Latina women but I'd also like to mention that I love chicks with HAIR! Hell yeah! What werewolf doesn't? One of my favorite images from the Obama election campaign was his rally in Oregon where 40,000 people showed up. I know that the Pacific Northwest is a big haven for wonderful, hairy hippy babes and I imagined how much gorgeous, furry flowing hair was on many of the females out in that crowd. Hair on their legs; hair in their armpits; oh, yes, and hair in so many other places that are too wondrous and sublime for TV to display for fear that too many of us would actually go blind and accidentally vote for McCain on Election Day.

I like to imagine that a few of those hot, hairy hippy babes won some sort of contest and got to accompany Obama on one of his retreats to Hawaii. There they would play volleyball in the cool blue waters of those precious Pacific islands as the sun of hope rained down its rays of wisdom and peace on their soft, sensuous body hair as the werewolves of the world stood behind the palm trees and watched, cheering these hairy babes on. I know it is early in the Obama Era but it is my hope that with everything else changing, eventually women will reach a point where displaying body hair is more acceptable. There really is no reason for them to have to shave, especially as Obama starts to slowly bring the werewoman out of them, feeding them nachos and tacos and burritos and getting more and more hair to grow on their chests while the men all howl and the Mexican chefs make their food spicier and spicier and the world slowly becomes a HAIRY WEREWOLF WONDERLAND OF HOPE!!

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Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Obama's Beautiful Hawaii Nicely Juxtaposes With the Nation's Current Problems

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obama at beach with tacoThis little image is slightly inspired by that famous picture we've all seen of Obama shirtless at the beach in Hawaii. With all this talk about the drug cartels running Mexico and beheading everybody, it is nice to think of another vacation spot that is free of all the violence. Granted, I imagine tacos in Hawaii are not near as good as they are in Mexico, but the more moderate, beautiful weather perhaps makes up for that. When I hear of Obama going to Hawaii for a little rest and relaxation it makes me feel good that he is attached to someplace so exotic, so beautiful and so away from the troubles of the rest of the world. Obama's cool, even demeanor may indeed have something to do with his being brought up in such a place. I wanted to set my larger painting based upon Jesse Jackson's castration remarks on a Hawaiian beach to balance out all the grisly, ugly imagery Jackson's remarks evoked. Castration, of course, has a horrible haunting history dealing with despicable things slavemasters did to their slaves as punishment here in this country at one time, and it is nice to juxtapose this horrid collective national history with the individual history that involves Barack being brought up on a beautiful, peaceful (well, except for Pearl Harbor, I guess) island. When things get too stressful in the Oval Office for our President, I want him to go to Hawaii and think about it all. I want to think of him walking along the shoreline of a gorgeous, pleasant Hawaiian beach shirtless, feeling the cool breeze blow against him as he sorts it all out for us Americans and figures out how to solve our problems far, far away from the mainland.

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When Will Obama Visit Mexico?

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taco disaster in MexicoThough there is alot going wrong in Mexico right now, this little snapshot shows that I think the hope Obama has inspired in us Americans should be extended to places such as Mexico. Obama traveled to Berlin over the summer and spoke before thousands upon thousands of people. There is talk that he is soon to travel to a Muslim nation and speak there. I'm sure at some point he will travel to Asia and Russia but what of places like Mexico? Obama went to Canada soon after taking office but what of our other North American neighbor south of us? Maybe I am naive but I find Mexico fascinating in its potential. When I think of it my heads fills with soaring visions of fiestas, beautiful women, hot sauce, tacos and the pink underwear you see in the pic above is intended to express my optimism in the face of Mexico's current struggles. Yes, I do often dress Republicans in pink underwear as sort of a joke but I think pink underwear can also be used to symbolize happiness, joy in the face of struggle and the sweet scent of feminine beauty. All of this can be found in Mexico!

It is actually my hope that in a backward sort of way, the problems the Mexican government is facing with the drug cartels will draw more attention to Mexico and make people more sympathetic toward its people. For a foreign country who has more immigrants to the U.S than any other, it seems strange that Mexico seems so often to be ignored by Americans except when they are hungry for Mexican food, want to go on Spring Break or are complaining about all the illegal aliens taking their jobs.

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Tuesday, March 10, 2009

U.S. Fast Food Scientists In Mexico Need To Be Careful

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taco disaster in MexicoThe fact that America is now considering giving Mexico military aid to help in its drug wars makes me think of what could happen if our military got involved in Mexico's production of fast food. While at first this might seem like a winning proposition, America can be known to over-do it with its obsession with size and power. Slogans like "Burritos as Big As Your Head!" could quickly turn into "Burritos More Powerful Than A Nuclear Warhead!" and this gives me horrifying images of Mexico being the scene of even more destruction as catastrophic explosions occur all over Mexico caused by American nuclear scientists getting a little carried away with their experiments on how to make hot peppers even hotter. Mexico has always been somewhat of an embattled country and I am all for giving them aid. But if the U.S. is to get involved in the fast-food business down there, we have to be careful not to underestimate the powerful resources Mexico has. Although they are not known for a particularly strong military, that is only because they don't know how to incorporate their hot sauce and jalapeno peppers into their war technology. Once America gets involved we have to be respectful of how powerful these potential "weapons" really are. Now that Obama is reversing the U.S. government's course on its respect for science it could very well be discovered that Mexico's vast resources for making food spicy and tasty could be ingredients that show themselves more potent than uranium. I just ask all American scientists who plan on working on this project to please take care when "splitting the jalapeno" in your research so that Mexico doesn't get blown off the face of the earth, that's all.

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Newt Gingrich Will Start A "Contract With Mexico"?

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obama coming out of nuclear tacoNewt Gingrich is considered a thoughtful, intellectual conservative but when it comes to questions of whether he prefers boxers or briefs, Newt has been known to get angry at the question and refuses to answer it. No one really knows what lies underneath Newt's trousers but I have chosen to portray him here in pink underwear briefs, like I have many Republicans. Newt gained stature in 1994 when he became Speaker of the House and helped come up with the Republicans' "Contract With America" which promised a return to conservative values after two years under
President Bill Clinton. This makes me wonder, will he try to get into congress again in 2010 and try to start a "Contract With Mexico" in reaction to Obama's massive changes to the left?

In this picture you see Newt holding upon his strong shoulders a taco which is powered by gasoline while the rest of the world is moving on to nuclear fuel. Some may say this is a comparison between conservative, outdated ideas about energy with that of the Democrats and their Green Agenda, but I'll give Newt the benefit of the doubt and say that the gasoline-fueled taco represents a comparison of Mexico with the USA. Newt, if he is elected into office in 2010, will help to move Mexico's taco-making process into the modern era. While we all know that our friends south of the border make the best tacos in the world, we need them to make MORE of them, we need factories to create jobs right here in the US capable of putting out MILLIONS of tacos an hour behind the power of nuclear-powered Mexican food plants that no longer rely upon oil or gasoline. Newt holds the burden of this problem upon his shoulders and I can't wait until 2010 to see what happens!

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Monday, March 9, 2009

The Three Mexican Food Muses

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obama coming out of nuclear tacoI got the idea for the image of these Three Mexican Food Muses while listening to Ray Charles and Willie Nelson sing that "Seven Spanish Angels" song while eating a big, messy jumbo burrito one night. The burrito messed me up so bad inside that later that night I was seeing visions of these three angels to please help me! While in most ways I think the mythology of Mexican food and the creativity and profound insight it nurtures can be seen as positive, there are certain types of "human explosions" that can get a little gross and icky when it comes to eating and digesting Mexican food. I am referring to the gastro-intestinal anguish that can ensue, some of which is so intense and leaves such a messy aftermath that the metaphor of "Nuclear Jalapeno Holocaust" may indeed apply. So it is that the purpose of my larger painting, "The Newtclear Tacos of Barocket Obomber" is in meant in most ways to portray explosions of a hopeful, happy kind, the Three Mexican Food Muses stand there in their sweet melancholy to remind us that though Mexican food is indeed tasty, too much of it can lead to war and destruction both within ourselves and with those we have to live and sleep with.

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Obama, The Nuclear Taco Explosion From Nowhere

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obama coming out of nuclear tacoLike a nuclear bomb, Obama burst upon the national political scene, rocketing out of the taco that is representative of all of our mothers' wombs. In addition to all the unique and even bizarre circumstances surrounding Obama and his being elected our 44th President, I think one of the most profound is that he essentially came out of NOWHERE. As he rose higher and higher in prominence and popularity, it became apparent to me that he was coming out of all our little lettuce patches; he soared through our cheese, ran rampant through our fields of tomatoes and howled like a wolf as he made us feel the sweet sting of jalapenos in our spiritual bellies. Some people see themselves in Obama but sometimes I like to think of him as a HUMAN NUCLEAR TAco, something that just EXPLODED into our world and left us all hungry for more Mexican food symbology and taco ingredient metaphors.

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Sunday, March 8, 2009

What Will Obama Add To The Mythology Of Mexico?

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aztec woman with golden skullNot much has been said yet about how Obama plans to handle the situation in Mexico with all the corruption and drug cartels wreaking havoc and making it a real possibility that within Obama's time as President, Mexico could indeed collapse into total anarchy. What is generally considered a second world country could quickly join the third world if measures are not taken to help Mexico rid itself of the increasing violence and corruption it has ben faced with lately. I like to interpret the world's problems through the lense of werewolves, tacos and underwear. I envision Obama riding into Mexico on wild, giant wolf under a Guacamole Moon, accompanied by an army of alien sailors in their tightie whities, offering to give Mexico a "Change In Underwear You Can Believe In" in exchange for tasty tacos. As I presented in the larger painting, "Sailor Obama Meets The Girl With The Golden Skull", soon after being elected, obama had a meeting with "The Girl With The Golden Skull," an ageless Aztec Princess who allegedly gave him advice on what to do.

In another entry I explained the idea of Latina women being so beautiful, that their faces were so lovely that only a golden skull could support such beauty. But there is also the possibility that at one time, before the arrival of Evil Cortez, these women had no faces at all! That these golden skulls were out in the open for all to see and this was just too much beauty for the poor Aztec males to bear. They became distracted from their warrior duties so the preists had to perform plastic surgery on the women, giving them faces. They stretched upon their gleaming skulls the fallen faces and scalps of their enemies to somewhat subdue the sparkle and overpowering golden glow. The beauty of a faceless golden skull was just much to behold!

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Did Aztec Women Have Golden Skulls?

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aztec woman with golden skullMy obsession with the beauty of Latina women continues as I contemplate the idea of a "Girl With A Golden Skull." Isn't it the case that there are some women who are so beautiful, that their eyes are so big and seductively sublime and their lips are so luscious and perfectly-shaped that you wonder to yourself, "Could just a REGULAR skull made of mere human bone support such a gorgeous face? Could it hold within it such rapturous, intoxicating eyeballs and be the canvas upon which such smooth, perfectly-toned skin rests upon? There was a lot of talk awhile back about "crystal skulls" due to the new Indiana Jones movie coming out but I like the idea of gold much better. Gold better relates to the Aztec and Maya myths of "cities of gold" and it leaves one to wonder if the Aztec and Mayan women actually had gold within their bodies because skeletons of mere calcium-enriched, normal human bone just doesn't seem good enough for some of these beautiful Latina babes. You don't hear about it so much but I think it is important to remember that Latin America actually has a long, rich history that stems back to the Mayan, Aztec and Inca civilizations. I mean, most people have heard of this, of course, but what I'm saying is that I think there is perhaps more to their history than those horrid images of Aztec priests cutting the hearts out of human sacrifices, which is about all you hear white folks talk about. When I think of the old Latin American civilzations I start to see soaring mystical visions of tacos, burritos and enchiladas that serve as symbols for unity in this modern day and age. Perhaps there is also something mystical about the underwear the Aztecs wore and, of course, I wonder if their women had golden skulls?

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Saturday, March 7, 2009

The Spaceship Of Obama And How It Relates To His Birth Certificate

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obama spaceshipThe Spaceship of Obama landed in an undisclosed location on earth sometime during the 1950's before Barack Obama is said to have actually been born. There are some who say Obama is not even eligible to be President because he is not a natural-born citizen, contending that he was actually born in Indonesia or perhaps even Kenya. Little do these fools know that Obama was not even born on this PLANET and that they can harp and howl and moan all they want but it isn't going to stop the alien agenda that has had plans to put Obama in office for many hundreds of years.

It is funny to me how some actually think they can raise a stink and file their little lawsuits to actually impact Obama negatively, or that they have the audacity to think they can actually have him put out of office. Can't you see that he is protected by an alien force field? The hidden powers behind the world's ruling class laugh at you just as Moby Dick laughed at Ahab when you engage in your useless, petty efforts to stop Obama. I have seen Obama's birth certificate online and I'll admit I find it to look a little odd. But I'm also wise enough to know that I am essentially a piss-ant in this little chess game and that what I think doesn't matter. I have chosen to "get with the program" even though I realize our President is probably an extra-terrestrial. I choose to have HOPE that he is essentially a "good alien" who means us no harm and that he and his handlers have good, kind intentions for our planet. I think having this attitude is better than banging my head against the wall about things such as forged birth certificates.

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Imagining Obama In a Navy Uniform Brings Me Comfort And Happiness

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obama in navy sailor uniformHere we see Barack Obama in a Navy uniform. I somehow find it appropriate to represent President Obama in a sailor uniform as the movement he has inspired reminds me of a smooth, cool sailing expedition. Obama is the wind upon the waters and his supporters are the waves that keep the ship moving. I present Obama in an enlisted man's uniform because even though he is captain of the vessel he fully understands the importance of what the ship's crew does. He knows it is the "grass roots" efforts of the common sailor who ready the sails and keep the crew fed through their tireless, endless efforts in a hot ship's kitchen that "keeps the boat afloat" and keeps the bellies of our military men and women full of tacos.

I was in the U.S. navy, myself, from 1988-1992 so I have a respect for our men and women in uniform, especially our sailors who brave the dangerous, stormy seas on their expeditions to find treasure for our nation. So it is that I like to see our President by imagining him in a Navy uniform because it brings me a certain degree of comfort and happiness to do so.

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Thursday, March 5, 2009

Obama Is Probably An Alien, But It Is All Good

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obama is an alienI don't think anyone can doubt that the "Obama Phenomenon" is a strange one. Sure, perhaps it just "is what it is," Obama is just some talented dude with alot of charisma who just happens to have the middle name matching the last name of an Iraqi dictator the U.S. recently overthrew which, in the end, is one of the few justifications Republicans (and more than a few Democrats, honestly) have for the war going on over there the past 6 years, the fact that Saddam Hussein is now gone, because all of their other justifications have pretty much been shown to be a lie. Sure, Obama is just from Chicago, one of the most corrupt towns in the country. Sure, he is also from Hawaii and sure, he is also from Indonesia, a Muslim country. Yeah, he is also the first African-American President of the United States whose dad is actually FROM AFRICA. Yeah, maybe all of this just "is what it is" and there's nothing extra-terrestrial about it. There's nothing other-worldly about the fact that Obama's election to President was suddenly pretty much clinched by a "surprising" unexpected total collapse of the U.S. banking system when before then, honestly, his victory over McCain seeemd in doubt. There's nothing bizarre about the fact that we now have a leader who is more multi-national/cultural in appeal than any prior President at a time when the Democrats are in charge of EVERYTHING and the world seems more ripe and ready than ever to create that NEW WORLD ORDER the conspiracy theorists and evangelicals are always talking about. I don't think Obama is the Anti-Christ because I don't take that Revelations stuff too literally but I DO THINK he MIGHT be an alien of some sort, or at least that he might be an alien plant who has been groomed from a very early age to usher in this new era of vast change. I love Obama, though, and will continue to contend that he is a GOOD THING. I eagerly await what his alien underground bosses have in store for us and what they will have their alien accomplice in the oval office do for our country and the world in the upcoming years.

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Wednesday, March 4, 2009

The Blind Bra of Justice

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oprahs blind bra of justiceIn a shocking announcement on the White House lawn today, President Obama announced that the Justice Department's traditional symbol of the blind statue holding the balance would be replaced by the Blind Bra Of Justice. It was Oprah Winfrey's idea, of course, because she is the sinister mastermind behind all that Obama does. It is even rumored that it is OPRAH'S own bra that will kept in the lobby of the Supreme Court Building in a glass case and guarded by Indiana Jones and Nicholas Cage, respectively, to represent fairness in government. I guess the origin of the idea for the symbol stems from millions of Oprah's viewers complaining to her how men seem to favor one of their breasts over the other due to size, softness, etc. Many of these women, in an effort to make both breasts equal, have resorted to implants measured in exact identical characteristics. So it is that the red states shall be treated just as the blue states. Tacos will be shown no favor over burritos. Women are equal to men. Any opposites for comparison will be treated as two identical breasts in one bra. The only exception, of course, is that the administration has been blatant about its desire for people to wear WHITE COTTON BRIEFS to show their unity and enthusiasm for the renewal and recovery of this great nation.

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International Underwear Symbol For Transparency In Government

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politicians show their underwearHere I created the new International Underwear Symbol For Transparency In Government. You see a Latin American Supreme Court Justice lifting up his robe and showing the world community his underwear. Of course, he has a smile on his face because he is more than happy to do so. In the new age of "Obama Taco Underwear," politicians, judges, legislators and all public figures will be more than happy to lift up their figurative robes and show the tax-payers their underwear to show us where all the money went. If a public figure lifts up their robe for you and you discover they have no underwear ON, well, you know that they spent all of your money on EAR MARKS and can't even afford a pair of drawers to wear as they do the people's work in public. How shameful it must be to be the person sitting in congress without any underwear on to show the people. Should this person be re-elected? I think not! The American people and all Mexican people who are soon to become Americans should demand that the officials in both our countries SHOW US YOUR UNDERWEAR before you are getting another vote from us!

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Oprah Winfrey Has Tomato Breast Implants?

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oprah with tomato breast implantsHere we see Oprah Winfrey revealing to the world that she does, indeed, have tomatoes for breast implants. This seems proof to me that Oprah does indeed support the multi-cultural integration of the United States with the Latin American world through creating a new national language that uses the symbolic, communicative power of Mexican food! Tell me, what are better than tomatoes to put on your taco? Oh, they are so ripe and delicious, so wet and tasty upon your tongue. Unfortunately, at many taco fast food restaurants they actually make you pay EXTRA TO HAVE TOMATOES PUT ON YOUR TACO! That will indeed stop now with Oprah Winfrey in charge of the SECRET SALSA GOVERNMENT. From behind the scenes Oprah will have the appropriate puppet leaders of government installed and marionette-like managers of Mexican restaurants to insure that tomatoes come STANDARD in your tacos!

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Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Oprah Winfrey Taco Conspiracy Cult

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oprah supreme court taco conspiracyI know there are those who fear that Oprah Winfrey is the powerful force behind Barack Obama's rise to power. I am not here to alleviate those fears but to exacerbate them because I have it on good authority that Oprah Winfrey has conspired with hidden powers within the Mexican government to slowly integrate "taco symbology" into all of the U.S.'s landmarks, monuments and popular culture. Here you see the start of this insidious plan as a taco is seen placed in a prominent spot above the front pillars of the U.S. Supreme Court Building.

As I have said before, the threat of chaos coming across our borders more and more from Mexico is something that President Obama will have to deal with and something that Oprah Winfrey, through her book club network, has helped to finance. Her intent is to help the Mexican drug cartels get marijuana across the border to get Americans in the state of mind where they will actually join Oprah's cult, inspired by her new spiritual mentor, Eckhart Tolle It's my position that even though I recognize the infiltration of Mexican people and Latino culture taking a more and more dominant role in American life, I think the culture, people and food should be embraced and not feared. So is there an "Oprah Winfrey Taco Conspiracy"? Yes, and I wholeheartedly support it!

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Rex Grossman In His Underwear, Knows Where To Throw The Ball

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rex grossman in underwearI love the idea of portraying muscular, sexy NFL quarterbacks in their underwear. There is just something very American and iconic about it. Here we have Rex Grossman, quarterback of the Chicago Bears, holding a football as he poses in his "tightie whities." The white color of the underwear I think is very important because it alludes to the purity and sense of purpose many Americans see in the image of the professional American quarterback. While Rex Grossman has been very embattled throughout his career, he maintains his pride and confidence as he struts around half-naked, letting the world see that he still has what it takes to get to the Super Bowl again. Grossman appears decisive and knows exactly where he wants to throw the ball, unlike John McCain in another one of my paintings who stands in his distracting, colorful skeleton suit, holding two footballs which only leads to his own confusion and stagnation. Footballs symbolize the will to succeed, the will to accomplish and get things done for America, and Rex Grossman is a true patriot.

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Monday, March 2, 2009

"Nobody Messes With Joe Biden!"

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joe biden with moose antlersHere we have now-Vice President Joe Biden crawling around in the Alaskan snow in his underwear. He has a big smile on his face and seems to be oblivious to the fact that he has metaphorical moose antlers on his head which make him a target for the figurative gun firings of Sarah Palin during the VP debate! At the time of Sarah Palin's introduction to the national scene, I admittedly was scared of her. This picture of Joe Biden is only part of a larger Sarah Palin painting I made where I attempt to express these fears. The conservative base, when they are fired up and chanting and screaming and excited and happy are actually quite scary. And it baffled and disappointed me how Joe Biden and Obama just seemed to go about their business, prancing about in the snow of the campaign trail, saying very little about Sarah as she launched one attack upon them after another.

This image of Joe Biden also serves to represent how he is seen by many of his conservative critics, as some goofy guy with a big smile on his face who talks too much. I love Joe Biden, though. He seems like a nice guy. I love his smile and his bright white teeth. Though he can seem a bit goofy in ways and is easy to make fun of, there is no doubt that there is a nasty BITE in those teeth of his and as Obama said in his recent address to congress, "NOBODY MESSES WITH JOE!!"

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Sarah Palin In Pink Underwear With Armed Baby In Taco Shell

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sarah palin in pink underwearI don't think anyone can deny that a big appeal of Sarah Palin is her cute, down-home country looks and those stylish glasses she wears. I admittedly have often wondered what she looks like in her underwear so I made this little picture of her. Here she is shown pregnant again, in a pink bra and pink bottoms. She holds one of her family's latest children in her hands and has placed him in a warm, delicious taco to keep him cozy and comfortable during those long Alaskan winters. As you can see, the taco has the youth fired up beyond belief as he holds a gun in his hand and is more than ready to do battle with all those commies and socialists and media meanies who would dare try to smear his mother or take away the money or liberties of REAL Americans.

This picture also continues to develop my evolving vision of "underwear politics" where (wear?) I have Republicans wearing pink underwear. This has a connection to the Republican elephant logo and the notion of "seeing pink elephants" as a metaphor for people's delusions, but it also, especially in regard to the Republican males, serves as a playful, ironic swipe at their macho, cowboy self-images.

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Sunday, March 1, 2009

Sarah Palin Has An Eskimo Sister Who Supports Obama

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sarah palin's eskimo sisterWe all know of one of Sarah Palin's sisters, the one whose husband was the subject of Palin's alleged "abuse of power" in the scandal known as "Trooper Gate." Sarah was accused of having her policeman brother-in-law fired for his subjecting her sister's child to a taser gun. But little is known about Sarah's other sister who is actually a half-sister and just happens to be an eskimo. Oh and get this-- she is also an Obama supporter! Yes, folks, that is why this unknown sister has been hidden away by Sarah and forced to live in an igloo out in the middle of the intolerable, miserable conditions of the cold Alaskan terrain. I decided to include Sarah's ostracized eskimo sister as part of my larger "Sarah Palin Scares Me!" painting in an attempt to get the media on to this story and run with it. I am concerned that Sarah's eskimo sister is still stuck out in the freezing snow and may not even realize that Obama won the election! I guess at some point at the start of the Democratic primaries, Sarah and her eskimo sister were at a family gathering. They were all sitting around the table eating mooseburgers when Sarah's eskimo sister started talking about Obama and hope. That's when Sarah got out her own personal taser gun, started prodding her eskimo sister out the door and told her, "I HOPE you freeze to death out there! There's NO WAY Alaska is going to turn blue this year but your whole body sure is going to once you're stuck outside for awhile!"

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Todd Palin Is Jesus In His Wife's Alaskan Hell

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todd palin is jesusWhile many liberals were hailing Barack Obama as the messiah during the election and conservative talk show radio hosts like Rush Limbaugh did so mockingly, I had a different person to portray as the savior in mind. After hearing so many horrible things about poor Sarah Palin I figured the man who was married to her had to be some kind of saint to put up with being attached to such a witch. So I started having these delusions that Todd Palin must be Jesus and there he was having to live in the freezing, snowy cold in his wife's Alaskan Hell. While Sarah laughingly said she liked to refer to him as the "First Dude," I started to think of him as FIRST DUDE, PERIOD!! So it made me feel better to think of The Son of Todd's halo illuminating a blanket of cheerful, loving goodness upon his wife's misdeeds such as book banning, slaughtering wolves, abuses of power, tax evasion, having her daughters baby, inciting hate and the list just goes on and on!

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Sarah Palin Holds A Spork And Incites The Mob

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sarah palin holds sporkSarah Palin here holds a spork smeared in hot sauce to represent her rallies where she seems to incite so much anger from conservatives over Obama and what they say he represents. In the world of "Obama Taco Underwear", pitchforks and the figurative blood of the innocent became sporks smeared in hot sauce. I like to use what I guess are sort of "visual euphemisms" to represent the more distressing and disturbing aspects of political and world reality, which definitely comes in handy when you are trying to visually document a Sarah Palin rally. Her rallies during the 2008 election campaign were some of the most disturbing and frightening examples of mob mentality I've ever seen taking place in America on such a national level. Obama proposes to make the rich pay just a bit more in taxes and the mob shouts out "Socialist! Commie!" Obama has an innocent "welcome to the neighborhood" meeting with William Ayers and the mob shouts "Terrorist!" I find the conservative base to be a truly frightening, over-dramatic bunch. Their leaders "cherry-pick" little snippets of things to use as red meat and then allow their constituents to gnaw at this red meat like crude animals, their bellies growling and maws and claws exhibited as they exaggerate and blow everything out of proportion, even to the extent where an important faction of the conservative base, the evangelicals, are constantly saying that "the world is ending" simply because Obama is attempting to strike some balance in how our financial system operates, or because he doesn't look, think and act just like them.

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Latest NYC Trend of "Face Yoga"

Oh God, look at the latest NYC craze of Face Yoga! I swear, watching the women in that video is better than looking at babes in bikinis on the beach. Some men may even say it is better than watching porn. I really love the hissing, contorted snake and dragon-looking faces these chicks are making as they exercise their facial muscles in order to "tone" them and make themselves look younger. I'm just sad that I live in the boring, unhip state of Indiana and won't get to see women doing this stuff here for at least 20 years, because that's how long it generally takes these wacky east and west coast trends to reach here. I'm not saying it's dumb. Hell, it might work. Alot of Westerners underestimate the effectiveness of alot of Eastern medicine and philosophy. I just think it's funny, is all, and a bit arousing in a way. "Exercising facial muscles" in order to make oneself look younger sounds alot like how these door-to-door penis pump salesmen tell men you can "exercise your penis muscles" in order to make it bigger. I don't think there's a "magic pill" for a larger penis and I guess the jury is still out on whether there is one-- beyond plastic surgery, perhaps-- to make women look young again. I'm all for young-looking women so let's all hope it really works! I'm also for guys having larger penises as long as they aren't bigger than mine, of course!
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Sage Rosenfels Now On The Long List Of Sputtering Mediocre Viking Quarterbacks

Oh boy, Minnesota Vikings fans! It's time to get excited because the Minnesota Vikings have acquired Sage Rosenfels! Yeah, right ! Like there was really ever a chance that the Vikings would get someone like Bret Favre or Donovan McNabb! The Sage Rosenfels era has begun and you can tell that everyone is soooo excited. I just keep cursing about what happened to Daunte Culpepper. He was the only thing that looked even close to a solid, long-term franchise QB for the Vikings since I've been a fan, and now we are back in the muck of having to watch our sputtering, impotent offense let all our talent on defense go to waste. It's like a reverse of how the Vikings were during their brief "Super Bowl window" era between '98-'00 when they had Culpepper, Moss, Carter and Robert Smith at running back combining for an explosive, record-breaking offense. Of course, back then it was the DEFENSE that stunk. Yeah, GET YOUR POPCORN READY!! I just can't wait to watch the glorious competition in training camp between Rosenfels and Tarvaris Jackson! Hahahaha. I'm also a big Indianapolis Colts fan and the first thing I thought of when I heard this Rosenfels news was that bone-headed play he made as the Texans' QB when he fumbled the ball last year and gave Indy a win they probably didn't deserve.

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Mitt Romney Wins CPAC Straw Poll. Ron Paul Ties Palin For Second

Republican stand-out, Mitt Romney got the longest straw at CPAC yesterday, which means that conservatives see him as the front-runner so far in the 2012 Presidential Campaign. He beat out Bobby Jindal and even everyone's folksy, gorgeous darling, Sarah Palin, for the honor. What is interesting is that Ron Paul actually tied with Sarah Palin for second place with 13%. This is actually no big deal since this is the THIRD TIME IN A ROW that Romney has been picked and of course he has yet to attain a GOP nomination in an actual election. What is also interesting is that conservatives seem to early on pick someone who is just right of center and good with business skills, what seems like a rational pick. But when the actual election starts they realize they need the hardcore, grass-roots evangelical base to do all the grunt work for them. So they end up having to pander to them with a VP pick like Sarah Palin or through having high-profile far right-wing figures endorse them; or by advocating far right ideas themselves, which ruins the front-runner's chances. The simple fact seems to me that the Republicans just don't have enough people out there to win a national presidential election anymore. No wonder they are hoping Obama fails miserably because the only chance they have is on riding the reverse coat-tails of someone else's failure. Oh wait, did Obama do that with Bush?

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Did Obama Steal Mitt Romney's Jewels?

The Boston Herald is reporting that Mitt Romney's jewels were stolen. Mitt Romney's wife's jewels were stolen from one of his 1818181 houses in Utah. The article implies that the "family jewels" may have been taken by maintenance workers. It wouldn't surprise me if there aren't some Republicans who blame the theft on Barack Obama and his administration, the way they were all carrying on at CPAC about how Obama was robbing the rich blind.

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