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Wednesday, March 4, 2009

The Blind Bra of Justice

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oprahs blind bra of justiceIn a shocking announcement on the White House lawn today, President Obama announced that the Justice Department's traditional symbol of the blind statue holding the balance would be replaced by the Blind Bra Of Justice. It was Oprah Winfrey's idea, of course, because she is the sinister mastermind behind all that Obama does. It is even rumored that it is OPRAH'S own bra that will kept in the lobby of the Supreme Court Building in a glass case and guarded by Indiana Jones and Nicholas Cage, respectively, to represent fairness in government. I guess the origin of the idea for the symbol stems from millions of Oprah's viewers complaining to her how men seem to favor one of their breasts over the other due to size, softness, etc. Many of these women, in an effort to make both breasts equal, have resorted to implants measured in exact identical characteristics. So it is that the red states shall be treated just as the blue states. Tacos will be shown no favor over burritos. Women are equal to men. Any opposites for comparison will be treated as two identical breasts in one bra. The only exception, of course, is that the administration has been blatant about its desire for people to wear WHITE COTTON BRIEFS to show their unity and enthusiasm for the renewal and recovery of this great nation.

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