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Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Brett Favre Finally Changes His Underwear!

brett favre in his underwearWhen Brett Favre was traded from the Green Bay Packers to the New York Jets in the summer of 2008, a deep dark secret was revealed on the first day Favre's new Jets teammates observed him in the locker room. As soon as Favre began to undress to change into his Jets uniform for the first time, the entire locker room was filled with a sinister, unyieldingly awful stench. All the players were like, "Man, what's that smell?" The source of the stench became quite clear when they all saw the pair of yellow Packers underwear briefs had on. . . .. . . click here to read more

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Monday, August 18, 2008

Obama Appoints Randy Moss "Secretary of Six"

randy moss and touchdown ObamaWith the 2008 National Football Season beginning in just a few weeks, Democratic Party Presidential nominee, Barack Obama, was asked who his favorite football player was. Before running for President, Obama was known to say "Rex Grossman" or "Brian Urlacher" in an effort to appeal to his Illinois constituency by naming a player for the Chicago Bears. Now that Obama has gone "nation-wide" it seems he's decided to pick a player that the whole country loves from a team whose colors are a vibrant RED,WHITE and BLUE!! How can it get more patriotic than the NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS and what more loveable player to pick from this team as your favorite than All-Star wide-receiver RANDY MOSS?!. . . click here to read more

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Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Christians Pray For Rain On Obama

christian rain on obamaHahahaha, "Focus on the Family," a Christian group that hates Obama the way most right-wing Christians seem to, actually had a video on their site recently which urged Christians to pray for rain to pour down on Obama during his upcoming acceptance speech at Invesco Field in Denver at the end of this month. When I saw the link to this article on a website, I rolled my eyes because I figured it was serious. But according to this article "Focus on the Family" took the video down. They said it was a joke and didn't mean to offend anyone. Actually, since it was a joke I actually think it was pretty funny. It would ne nice to see more light-hearted jabs at the candidates instead of all these serious, slimey smear-tactics and lies.

Undoubtedly there ARE some right-wing evangelicals who will be literally praying for rain to come down on Obama. To tell you the truth, it would make for great theater if Obama had to give his acceptance speech in the rain, reminding me of that old footage of Diana Ross getting rained on during a concert once. Anyway, even though I don't agree much with "Focus On The Family" and most Christian family values/moral watchdog groups much, kudos to them for adding some levity to an otherwise serious and heavy-laden campaign.

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Touchdown Obama!

touchdown obama refereeSure, we've all seen the heralded "Touchdown Jesus" at Notre Dame, but I think I like this little image of "Touchdown Obama" a better. I know that Obama is a huge football fan. He supports the troops as well as all the hard-working football players who put their bodies on the line for the entertainment of millions. Reports from his recent visit to Iraq to visit the soldiers say that one of the main things he talked to our troops about is football. Obama knows what is important to this nation and that is AMERICAN FOOTBALL!! I know that Obama was a die-hard Bears fan before he started to run for President. Now, in the spirit of fairness he has become an impartial referee, an indiscriminating fan of the entire league, admiring all 32 teams for what they are, for their individual styles of offense and defense; and the differing values of all the different cities they represent. It is awesome to me the metaphorical power of football, how you can relate Obama's appreciation of all the different NFL teams to his desire to unite the nation and all the different cultures of the world.

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Randy Moss' 24th Obama Touchdown

randy moss obama touchdownHere is Randy Moss, catching his 24th touchdown pass from Tom Brady in the endzone, right around November 4th, 2008, Election Day, already beating his last year's all-time NFL single-season record of 23. The Obama logo is seen nearby so it brings up the question: Is Randy Moss catching touchdowns for Obama? Does Barack Obama have some sinister plot to steal ALL of Randy Moss' touchdowns the way many say he is going to steal money from the elderly by raising capital gains tax on profits from selling their homes? Hahahaa, I don't believe all that garbage about Obama raising taxes on the elderly just as I don't necessarily believe Randy Moss is a big Obama supporter. One could argue that Moss supports Obama because he is a fellow African-American. One could also say that since Moss is a native West-Virginian and a self-described "country boy" that he might not vote for Obama, if he even votes at all. Many West Virginians showed they didn't like Obama during the landslide victory Hillary Clinton enjoyed against him during the Democratic Primaries. In the end it is none of the fans' business who Moss votes for, as long as he catches touchdowns, right?

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Randy Moss "Moon" Tribute Art

randy moss mooningThis simple little line painting commemorates that glorious, hallowed day when Randy Moss "fake-mooned" the Packer crowd at Lambeau Field during a playoff game on January 10, 2005, when the Vikings shockingly defeated the Packers 31-17. This was one of the most joyous days of my life. When Randy scored his second touchdown of the game and mooned the crowd, it was a religious experience of ecstasy to hear FOX commentator Joe Buck whining, "What a disgusting act!" I somehow felt redeeemed by all the hideous Vikings playoff losses in the past. I was walking on a cloud all week on the way to the Vikings' pitiful showing against the Eagles the following Sunday. But I didn't care, the "Moon Game" was still with me and Randy Moss became a legend in my mind. It was from day forward when I began to feel his spirit stirring in my soul and I began to gather the courage to metaphorically "moon" all those who would put me down, try to bully me or oppress me. Randy Moss is a great inspiration for all Americans and let's all cheer for him to break his own single-season record of 23 this year.

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Randy Moss With "War Afro" Minnesota Viking Art

randy moss viking afroWe are nearing the time when the NFL and the presidential elections collide and I want to be one of the few who actually combine these two in original art. I've decided to post little parts of new paintings as I work on them, accompanied with some commentary. This first image is from a painting I'm making dedicated to Randy Moss, my favorite NFL player. I am a long-time Vikings fan and Randy will always be a Viking to me. I cheer for him like hell as he does wonders for the Patriots but I will always see him in purple and gold, remembering the times he did my weary heart some good by bringing me joy with every touchdown he scored. This image to dedicated to his days as a Viking and to those few games when he wore his afro out, put on a spectacular performance and entertained the world, a true American hero.

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Thursday, August 7, 2008

John McCain Is "Wrinkly"

paris hilton john mccainHahahahaa, I've got a new respect for Paris Hilton after seeing her response to John McCain's ad comparing Barack Obama to "vacuous" celebrites like her and Britney Spears. Paris perhaps showed that she's not so "vacuous" after all in her funny reponse ad to McCain's juvenile campaign tactics. She also showed that she is pretty funny by referring to McCain as a "wrinkly white-haired guy". She mentioned "white haired," "wrinkly" and referred to McCain as being from the "olden days," all without calling him actually OLD which I thought was charming.

I personally don't like the idea of making fun of McCain's age, mainly because he is one TOUGH guy. I can only hope that I'm as energetic and productive as he is at the age of 71. I guess I just get the giggles at hearing the word "wrinkly". Just like I start to giggle when I hear the words "underwear" or "naked". Hahahahahaa. We've all seen Paris naked but let's hope we never have to see McCain nude because that would surely take the word "WRINKLY" to a whole new level.

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Wednesday, August 6, 2008

Pat Buchanan and Football Metaphors

pat buchanan footballI love it when any politician or pundit injects football into the political discussion and Pat Buchanan is someone I've noticed doing it alot. Buchanan continues his prolific use of football metaphors in his new essay, "Mr. Obama, Welcome to the NFL!". In this essay Buchanan is using football metaphors to describe Obama's recent experience with the rash of negative campaign ads by McCain and accusations of Obama using the race card. He is saying that against Hillary, Obama was essentially in the "amateur college league" and now that he is in the general election and playing against the "pros" of the "NFL" he is "getting hit in the mouth" and he is going to have to learn how to hit back! This is SMASH MOUTH FOOTBALL, BARACK! That goody two shoes, aloof "new kind of politics" might have worked in the Democratic primaries but the Republicans have no reason to hold back!

Buchanan is definitely a brawler and he seems to like football alot. I can see him making a pretty good linebacker back in his younger days. Buchanan made a good football analogy on Dan Abrams' show last night. He said that when Barack Obama warned people that Republicans would try to make them afraid of him because "he doesn't look like the other guys on the dollar bills," he was essentially guilty of making a "false start". What Barack said was fairly inocuous but the McCain campaign, analogous to a defensive lineman responding to a false start and brutally busting through the unprepared offensive line to tackle the quarterback, went for the jugular and accused Barack of "playing the race card". It was a brilliant use of football metaphor on Buchanan's part. Football fans nation-wide should be thankful for a guy like Pat Buchanan who has the skills, cleverness and admiration for football to so meaningfully make it a part of the election process. How cool is it that we will soon have the NFL season starting at the same time one of the most historical presidential elections in our nation's history is heating up?

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Is Obama Art Gay?

barack obama and al gore artMany people see Barack Obama as a symbol of hope and promise, that Barack has become more than just a man but has transcended the flesh and essentially become a walking-- even floating-- idea. Barack even said so himself, that he sees himself as a symbol, an icon, a blank slate upon which the whole world projects its ideas of what is good in the world. Many see in Barack sunny days filled with soft, fragrant flower petals; bright shining stars and green, fresh pastures full of sweet-smelling grass. Oh Barack Obama, our Hawaiian Tiki God!
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Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Barack and Jesse Jackson in Hawaii

barack obama and jesse jackson artWhen the Reverend Jesse Jackson made those comments about how he wanted to "cut Barack Obama's nuts off" I knew I had the inspiration for a painting. Of course, I had no desire to portray any sort of ghastly, gruesome imagery that would take Jackson's comments literally because I'm trying to make these paintings PG-rated and clean. But I thought it would be fun to experiment with some symbols and images that would indirectly convey what Jackson said without
having to be explicit in showing any castration images, which of course would be crude, disgusting and in bad taste. We all know that Jesse Jackson meant what he said figuratively and this painting is done in good fun, just as a way of recording and commemorating a moment in election history... . . . . . Click to read more

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Is Zbigniew Brezezinski A Vampire?

obama and brzezinskiThere are many rumors and conspiracies floating around concerning Barack Obama and his run for the presidency. One of them has to do with Zbigniew Brzezinski, former National Security Advisor to Jimmy Carter. Zbigniew Brzezinski is a major member of the Trilateral Commission, an insidious left-wing organization bent upon globalism and world corporate dominance, an unholy alliance full of many mysterious, shadowy figures. Many of these Trilateral members are actual, real-life
vampires and Brzezinski (whom I like to call "Count Zbigula") is the undisputed undead leader of this blood-sucking clan of businessmen and bureacrats... . . . . . Click to read more

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